


Fragments

by Pryotra



Series: Our Conquest on the Sea of Stars [3]
Category: Fate/EXTRA, Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Prototype: Fragments of Sky Silver, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Gen, Gilgamesh (Fate) Being Gilgamesh (Fate), Merlin's past is not pretty, Some are scenes I didn't have a place for, lots of one shots, one shots, others are things to help understand the past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pryotra/pseuds/Pryotra
Summary: A collection of moments, unconnected though they might be, that are too important, too precious, to lose.A glimpse at the things that were, or the things yet to come.
Relationships: Fujimaru Ritsuka/Merlin | Caster, Gilgamesh | Archer/Kishinami Hakuno, Merlin (Fate/Prototype)/Arthur Pendragon | Saber
Series: Our Conquest on the Sea of Stars [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1388662
Comments: 92
Kudos: 152





	1. The Joy of Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Valentines GilHaku story

The first time Hakuno and Gilgamesh celebrated Valentine’s Day as a couple, Hakuno had no idea what to expect.

Rin and Sakura had mentioned the holiday, and while it seemed like it was a big deal in Japan, Hakuno herself had no real memory of it. If it had been some event on the Moon Cell at some point, she hadn’t been, well, _her_ enough at that point for it to have stuck.

Gilgamesh had taken the information with apparent disinterest, so maybe he just didn’t care about the holiday. That…seemed a little hard to believe.

Still, from what they’d said, this was time to give the people you cared about chocolate. Either bought or made. She didn’t really know why other than some confused explanation from Rin about a Catholic saint that had married a lot of people and now couples celebrated in his honor…or something.

It was times like these she missed the Moon Cell’s records.

What were people supposed to even _do_ on Valentine’s Day?

She wasn’t sure Gilgamesh knew either. Uruk didn’t seem to have days like this, at least nothing…she wanted to be too involved in.

Still, she’d managed to wrest herself from Gilgamesh’s clutches early, and while he was still mumbling tiredly, she’d managed to sneak off with promises of breakfast. Thankfully, half asleep, he tended to not remember what was going on, and just wanted to rest.

She made sure to have food waiting for him in before he went looking for her.

The problem was that when she’d checked again to find him sitting there, in his stupid silk bathrobe, arms crossed with this _expectant_ look on his face.

She had no idea how long he sat like that while her attempt turned into a disaster.

The chocolate itself wasn’t hard to make, just the cocoa, sugar, cream and butter. The problem was everything else.

Gilgamesh and his stupid ‘refined palette’ were going to be the death of her, but she didn’t much cook like this, and she supposed one day she could make him something he’d really like. Rather than what she was learning to do.

So, she was in the kitchen, with chocolate all around her, smelling like booze because she’d spilled some when she’d managed to burn the bourbon caramel while trying to better mold them.

Whoever said cooking chocolate was easy deserved to be slapped.

“Hakuno, I have grown tired of waiting!”

“Don’t come in!”

But telling Gilgamesh not to do something was mostly like telling the wind not to blow, he stormed into the kitchen, taking one look at the fiasco around him and blinked once.

“So this is what you were doing. That…thing…that those women were so excited about…’Valentines’s Chocolate…’”

Hakuno flushed and looked away.

“It’s mostly finished,” she muttered. “I wanted to arrange it, but…”

Well, it was too late for that.

Gilgamesh walked to the small row of little golden rectangles and gave her an amused look.

“Chocolate gold bars?” he asked.

Hakuno shook her head.

“Those are just the pieces,” she said. “That’s why…”

“Well, then, show me!”

Taking the little galaxy plate that she’d bought for the occasion, Hakuno started to place the little narrow rectangles in place, forming a familiar skyline. Some of the chocolates were still brown, and others were broken or had the filling coming out, but that scene was still there, in her memory, and she hoped he saw it too.

“Do you remember the Golden City?” Hakuno asked. “Where we appeared right after the Moon Cell? We weren’t there too long, but…I loved it there. It was…the first time that I’d been really happy. When you asked me to come with you. Not just as your Master, but as a companion. The first time I’d even had something like a future to think of. And it was because of you and your taking me from the Moon Cell. All of this is, so…I guess I wanted this to reflect on that… And that promise you made me to me. You said I’d know the ‘Joy of Living’, and I have. I really, really have…”

Gilgamesh’s arms had slid around her shoulders, as he head nestled close to hers.

Slowly, he reached, taking a golden bar that she’d hoped to show as the hotel they’d stayed at. Back when they’d had nothing, and Gilgamesh had just proudly walked in like he’d owned it and _somehow_ they’d won the week in the most expensive suite in the building…

He bit into it, eyes widening for a moment at the flavor.

“Bourbon?” he asked.

“You mentioned you liked caramel bourbon…” she muttered, blushing furiously.

“So, you endeavored to recreate that scene when we began this unending journey…when you accepted my hand….and filled it as such…you truly do some lovable things, my treasure…”

Suddenly, his arms had moved, and she found herself being picked up, supported by her back and knees as she looked up at the smiling king holding her.

“If you insist on such things, then I have no choice but to reply. We will finish your sweets together, but for now, you must prepare! That Mad Dog informed me that in the West, men and women both give their gifts on this day, and so prepare. I shall ready the Vimana, and we will show these fools in this mediocre time how a king and queen make merry!”

He turned to go, clearly heading towards their room, still carrying her, but in a softer voice added.

“That far away skyline shall always remain in my memory, Hakuno, as will the smile you showed as your own future with me spread before you.”

This was probably not how the day was normally spent, flying around on a golden ship to other countries, remembering a city from another planet, where a conquest was made. But just like that time, so long ago in a city that spread on and on forever, the feeling that this just one of so many Valentine’s Day’s that spread before her filled her with that same joy that she’d felt that day.

The Joy of Living.


	2. Point of Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Valentines ProtoMerthur story, set in modern times after the Rota Fortunae

Arthur blinked at the small package. Holding it up slightly. Merlin smiled slightly at him.

“You were expecting something bigger?” Merlin’s smile was teasing. “I didn’t want to get in the way of those other girls who’ve been stalking you until they could give you something…”

Arthur hid his face with one hand. Of course she had to bring that up. It was bad enough that they'd been following him around, but Merlin just had to start laughing when they'd come with the chocolates, hadn't she?

“Could you please never mention that again?”

“But it was so cute…”

“Merlin…”

"Alright, alright...hehehe..."

Still, it was strange…

Since advertisements for Valentine’s Day had started Merlin had been more and more secretive. Buying supplies and books and never allowing him to see anything. It hadn’t been hard for him to guess that she was planning something involving chocolates.

Merlin couldn’t taste anything. He knew that. If she tasted something, it was the emotions that food was made with, but she couldn’t taste her own feelings. Honestly, she’d had enough trouble realizing that what she felt was _hers_ and not some reflection of someone else’s that she was burning through.

“I’m not sure what I was expecting,” Arthur said, very truthfully.

“Well, I wasn’t going to make something, so I found something good at least,” Merlin shrugged, though she’d tugged her white hood up.

She didn’t usually do that unless she was uncomfortable about something.

But…Arthur didn’t want to push this.

“Thank you so much,” Arthur said smiling. “I’ll make sure to make you something good in return.”

While he was a little sorry that whatever she’d been planning hadn’t happened, he wasn’t going to insist on knowing what happened. Besides, the fact that she’d clearly tried as hard as she had, even if she’d failed and needed to buy this a little last second was enough.

Even if he was a little disappointed, he’d rather not have her more uncomfortable.

Merlin smiled at him.

“I’m looking forwards to it,” she said.

Cath Palug, who had been sleeping on the couch, followed after Arthur as he headed into the kitchen to make dinner, chirping a little at Merlin.

“Don’t you dare,” she said softly.

“Fou!”

As Arthur closed the door behind him, looking around the kitchen.

…He smelled chocolate.

And something that had been burned. Badly.

He turned to Cath Palug, who was looking at him, waving his tail, and then, tapping him slightly, he rushed over to one of the corners of the kitchen. This was usually where Arthur didn’t usually prepare anything, but as he came closes, Cath Palug started pointing multiple times at the empty air.

“Fou!”

“Did she…leave something here?” Arthur asked.

“Fou!”

While he might lack Merlin’s ability to understand Cath Palug’s words, he knew that motion. And while Merlin’s illusions were amazing, there were always some weaknesses to them. So, he closed his eyes, and followed the scent until his hands found something cold and then soft and then…

“Fou!”

Arthur opened his eyes looking with surprise as the small plate that was sitting on the counter. Merlin’s flowers formed a ring around a small group of carefully carved chocolate Excaliburs made with different chocolates.

The door opened.

Of course. Merlin’s ability to see everything happening.

“Cath Palug…”

“Fou!” the creature honestly looked proud of itself.

“That isn’t the point! You keep betraying me! Have you forgotten everything I did for you!”

“Fou!”

'You-"

“Merlin,” Arthur interrupted her argument with her familiar. “These look amazing! Why didn't you want to show me?”

Merlin looked down at her handy work with an appraising look, one that saw only work that had come up short.

“I burnt some of the filling. I didn’t notice until I’d already finished the chocolates, and by that time, it was too late to start again,” Merlin said. “I decided it was better to just give you something made my someone who could taste anyways.”

Ah.

“…I can understand, but…why chose Excalibur?”

“It’s our connection,” Merlin said, looking at him with a smile. “It’s the reason we met. The thing that always tied our fates and stories together. Even when you didn’t know me, the sword always gave me the ability stand with you, so…to me…it was the best way to showing that. That…even in the Caves, no matter what…I was watching for you. …I was being pretty sentimental when I made it, wasn’t I?”

No, she wasn’t being sentimental. She was showing her real feelings.

Sometimes…he forgot that. She acted so calm, as if nothing had happened and nothing had changed, but sometimes…

Fifteen hundred years alone, watching the world from a pool in the Crystal Cave. Sealed away.

Arthur took a small Excalibur, looking like it was made with white chocolate.

“Arthur, don’t. I gave you a gift.”

But he’d already had it in his mouth.

White chocolate and a nougat. Faintly, Arthur could taste the burnt flavor, but…it was smooth, well blended…for someone who couldn’t taste or smell, she’d really put her all into this. The flavor, where he couldn’t taste the burn was well blended.

“I like this better than what the store had,” Arthur smiled.

“…what?”

“I mean it,” Arthur said. “I’m not going to lie and say it’s perfect, but just like you can tell the emotions that went into this? I can see how hard you tried and what you wanted to say. So…I’m glad Cath Palug showed it to me. And it makes me glad…glad that you took the sword, and I pulled it from the stone. If we were able to meet…it makes everything that happened worth more.”

He smiled, and Cath Palug chirped.

For a moment, Merlin stared at him, and slowly a pink blush, the same color as her flowers started to appear on her face.

He was glad of that too. To see her real emotions, for her to have emotions to share with him…those were precious things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you two just kiss and be done with it?


	3. A Tale of Beasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ritsuka/Merlin Valentines oneshot

Valentine's Day in Chaldea was more or less Chaos Incarnate. With everyone rushing around making sure to get chocolate to their friends and loved ones before the next singularity or pseudo singularity ended up making everyone too busy.

Even Dr. Roman seemed busy, or at least, Da Vinci and he hadn’t been seen for a while, so Ritsuka hoped that they were having fun together. As it was, she was slowly making her way through, giving chocolates to the guys, and, to her surprise, getting a _lot_ from the female Servants.

She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with Jack’s…very atomically correct human heart that managed to be both adorable and horrifying at the same time.

As she walked, she stopped at the sight of a familiar white robed figure.

Merlin.

The half incubus didn’t seem to have a direction he was going, just trailing aimlessly as flowers bloomed behind him.

It was funny, no matter how long he stayed…somehow he just seemed out of place in the white, sterile halls of Chaldea. Maybe it was the fact that the other Servants, mostly avoided him. The knights seemed to dislike him, and it seemed only Artoria, her Lancer Alter, Bedivere and the various Gilgameshs seemed to ever actually speak to him.

Maybe it was just that someone who made flowers bloom just felt more natural in an open place filled with sunshine.

“Hello, Ritsuka!” Merlin called out on seeing her, smiling brightly. “I see you’re wandering the halls today as well! Could it be that you’re hoping for more Valentine’s Chocolate as well? Honestly, I think it’s wonderful! You should experience the journey of love and passion!”

Ritsuka raised both her hands.

“I’m just trying to give out stuff!” she said.

But Merlin didn’t seem to be listening, he was just cheerfully chatting away.

“We should go together! It would look bad if I was the only one here trying to flirt on Valentine’s Day, but if you’re there, then there’s no problem!”

Actually, for all his reputation, she wasn’t sure she’d ever actually seen him flirt. Just mentioned it enough for all the women to avoid him. Also, he was hedging around being a bachelor on Valentine’s Day, wasn’t he?

He wasn’t going to stop talking though.

She needed to let him hang around in her room more. He seemed to really want to talk to her. Well, he could do it better if they had something to talk about, so she started digging into her back for his gift.

“It sort of like the saying that if you’re going to hide a leaf, it’s best to do it a forest, or a secret is best hidden at a party-” he cut off as she pulled out the box with his name on it. “Hm?”

The smile melted off his face, as he stared at the box she was holding out, as he looked at it with a blank expression.

“That box you’re holding in your hand…it couldn’t be for me…” he whispered, and then looked up at her. “Really?”

He looked confused, as if he wasn’t sure what emotion that he was supposed to show her, but also as if this was just something that couldn’t be.

Merlin might joke about flirting, but part of the joke…was his failure.

Slowly, almost like he half expected her to snatch it away, Merlin took the box and opened it.

Six small chocolates, made to look like his flowers looked up at him.

“Yeah…though I’m not sure about it though…”

She was _not_ flirting with him or…

“I wanted to make something that reminded me of you, and you said you liked flowers, as much you just just sort of made them, right?” Ritsuka asked. “They’ve got a fruity filling, I thought you’d like that.”

Merlin held one up almost in aw, but when he smiled at her, there was something to the look that felt…wrong.

Now, Ritsuka knew that Merlin didn’t feel anything. Everything she saw about his personality was just the emotions that he took and burned. He only had half an ego, manifested in will. So, his smiles, his laid back appearance, all of them were just a show. A mask to hide the fact that he felt and cared about nothing other than a vague idea of ‘humanity’.

Mash and Romani called him the worst, but for the first time…

“I see…” he said, that smile still in place. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but…no matter how sweet this may be, I will never taste it. Sugar or other human foods provide no sustenance for me… however…you said that you made this? Then I will be able to taste that. After all, feelings are food for us incubi…”

It never was ‘half human’ always ‘incubi’.

Slowly, Merlin took a flower, placing it in his mouth.

His eyes widened and he gasped slightly.

“I…cannot put words to this,” he said softly, that strange smile becoming…maybe more normal. “It is…how can I put it…fluffy. And light. It might be considered too rich, but at the same time I want to savor more! I suppose this would be close to what you could call sweet.”

He smiled, that same gentle smile he’d always given her in Babylonia.

“It suppose it’s one of those many things that you can never understand by looking.”

 _I’m a man who can only watch_.

Those words as he vanished back to his tower…

“Yes,” he nodded to himself. “I will have to show my thanks. Though it’s good that I’ve been working on this!”

He fished into his robes, bringing out what at first looked like a small scrap of fabric, but as he gave it too her, she realized…

It was Fou. A little hand puppet of him, complete with his little cute capelet and large eyes. Merlin had even worked to give the fabric the same sheen that both he and Fou seemed to have.

“This is cute…” she said.

“It’s my own craft,” Merlin said. “It has no value at all, but I would be very happy if you accepted it.”

“Of course,” Ritsuka nodded. “It’s really great looking! I know that you were good at making things…”

But she’d mostly just thought that Bedivere’s arm had been a fluke and he couldn’t much make anything good… Why had she just assumed that…

Merlin beamed at her.

“I’ll tell you a secret: he and I are very much alike. You could say that our origins are very similar as well. As was our choice. It’s why we appear similar,” he nodded to the puppet, something very far away in his vision. “So…when you look at it, no matter where your path takes you…please think back the two of us…and of one story. From the inland sea of stars, who continued to gaze on your life…the story of Beasts whose daily bread…is only that.”

While his voice had been strong, it ended in barely a whisper.

When Ritsuka looked up there was no one there. Only a small field of flowers before her, and a small testament to a tale of Beasts in her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this is more 'Ritsuka realizes that there is more to Merlin than she thought'.


	4. Merlini Partu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Birth of Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for implied rape.
> 
> Merlin's gender is being kept as ambiguous.

The cold was still enough to make Blaise ache all over. It wasn’t a surprise, but it always seemed that until spring, he couldn’t get close enough to the fire as the chill seemed to seep into his very bones. It was still the wet season, he supposed. And the drafty halls of the nunnery did nothing for that cold.

There was little to do on those mornings when he work up so early but to wrap his robes around him, take whatever poor comfort possible in the fire and watch for dawn to come. Still, there was a chill in the air that morning that had nothing to do with the waning winter. Even as he looked at the setting full moon as the sky turned to the grey of sunrise and the stars began to wink out.

His monastic cell was quiet, and even from his tower, he could see no sign of life. Often this was the time that he would putter about with his own lab. Alchemy was a talent of his, and while not particularly smiled on, the others ignored his habits. Far more than any other mage would have when dealing with their Apostate.

Though Blaise supposed that was why the Church ignored him and his family crest remained safe, at least until his death.

A power of Separation, but of only of spiritual things. He might be able to sever a painful emotion or a magical connection, but nothing else. Neither the Church nor the Mages saw him as a sufficient threat. And he never provided anyone with a reason to think otherwise. Though…he did have one final power.

Maybe that was what was causing him worry that night. Foresight was not a stable power…

Though it was more likely he was just getting fearful in his old age. Or maybe it was just that night made him pensive.

Matins would begin soon, and he would be glad to hear the church bells…or any sign that he wasn’t alone that night.

Blaise usually did not mind the quiet, however, some nights, when the wind whistled and some aching memory drove him to dream of mages and study, he longed for company. He had rejected that life. That was why he was there after all. To live the life that he had chosen. Away from the Root, and the increasing insanity that drove others to it.

But he still thought of it. He thought of it all the time.

Blaise’s thoughts were interrupted as stumbling footsteps rushed down the hall, tripping, falling once and then managing to stumble back again until it was outside of her door. Blaise was already starting to move to it when

“Father,” a soft, breathless voice hissed, accompanied by a frantic knocking, that seemed to be getting louder the longer the speaker rapped. “Father! _Help me!”_

The last works were almost a muffled scream.

Blaise only then managed the throw open the door to find Sister Adhan, clutching herself, shivering and weeping in the doorway.

“Sister Adhan…what’s happened?” Blaise asked frowning.

“I…I have to talk to... I have to tell someone… _now_ ,” she hissed. “Blood…there was blood…and I…”

She was sobbing again, horrible racking sobs of pain and fear, as Blaise stood their helplessly.

“Come in,” he said, leading her into his cell, and seating her beside his fire, but while the young woman did not resist him, she only sat, weeping, and watching the flames rise higher, as she clung to her robes.

“Adhan, I cannot help you if you do not tell me what has happened.”

“…I…have committed a grave sin…” she said softly.

“…I find that hard to believe,” Blaise responded.

He did. Adhan was a devout woman, and one who had experienced tragedy on tragedy.

Her father had been King Aeron, though not one of great power, but wealthy enough to keep his men and his children safe. Once. When it had been a family of one son and three daughters. Then, one by one, his animals had died, and then his son had been found dead, while his wife, once a good woman, laughed in some unholy amusement, only to be found hung in the dungeons. King Aeron had taken ill and died after that. Leaving his daughters alone and his fortune ruined.

The second daughter, Bine, was suddenly taken to madness screaming of a man in the night, but suddenly stopped, seeming as before, before vanishing only to be found later, buried alive. Some claimed it was because she had been found in the act of adultery, by her husband, but her husband denied it to this day. And Blaise…found he believed him.

Too much had befallen this family.

Then the madness had encroached on the younger sister, Mair, but she had changed completely, when once she’d had come to him with her sister, fearful of some unnatural hand that grasped at them, she suddenly left her sister. There were rumors of her learning magic from a witch, but Blaise knew better.

She had, with a knowledge she shouldn’t have, sought at a Mage who lived some ways off, whose craft relied on stealing life from others, and who even the others avoided with fear.

Adhan was then alone.

For two years she’d lived a quiet life, but the day before her sister had come, wearing fine clothes and mocking her sister for not ‘giving in to him’. He had not heard the argument past then, as Sister Adhan had requested privacy, but now…

“After the argument…I went to sleep…in anger,” Adhan said softly. “I forgot to use that thing you gave me. And…suddenly…there was a man in my room. He approached the bed, but…as I moved to get up…”

She nearly choked.

“I was suddenly calm….like…I didn’t mind like…I _wanted_ …but I _didn’t_ , and he….he…”

She had buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

“When I woke up…I couldn’t be in that room…not with the blood…and…”

Blood.

…oh no.

But he couldn’t consider such things now. Not while she was sobbing alone, as three years of torment and misery was finally forced into fruition.

What could he say to her? What could he do that made the words not taste like ash in his mouth?

“Adhan,” Blaise said softly. “You said you did not willingly partake in that…creature’s…designs. No matter how calm you were, some part of you did not will it. That is the truth. That part that fought. You have nothing to confess. You committed no sin, Adhan. No more than Saint Agatha, who was taken against her will.”

“But…”

“There are no buts. This was not your doing, or your will. That _thing_ took advantage of your distress,” he could not comfort her like her father would have, but he could tell her this.

“…if someone doesn’t lock their doors and a thief comes, their own foolishness bears some of the blame….”

“No,” Blaise said. “It is still the thief who acted, who broke in and who chose their actions. While you might have forgone the protection I gave you, but it was not intentional. You welcomed _nothing_. So even if though some unholy power, you were forced to be calm, _you did nothing wrong_.”

And he would continue telling her until she might start to believe it.

Adhan drew a single shuddering breath. When she looked up, her dark eyes were shining with yet unshed tears, and she spoke in that same shuddering, halting breaths.

“…Blaise…I don’t know how…I know that it’s too early…but I know that I’m going to have a child.”

A child.

For a moment, it was all Blaise could to look at her as the implications of those words came to him. A phantasmal creature…birthing a child with a human woman. This was more deliberate than he had feared. It took a woman with the natural power, as well tremendous stress to birth such a thing.

Once, in the age of gods, the deities had easily lain with woman, but a creature like this…one with little will outside of the urge to devour… There was another intelligence behind that creature. One that sought something vile and this child must be integral to it. He found himself staring at Adhan’s stomach.

As a mage, he should sit and watch to see what would result. After all, such a being might show a path to the Root that no human could have ever conceived of.

But Blaise the Apostate had his own agenda and was no longer accepting of such ideals.

“Adhan, what will you do?” he asked. “There are…ways to cease this. Perhaps I will face censure, but I cannot easily…”

“No,” Adhan’s voice, so weak and frightened took on an edge that surprised him. “I will not kill this child.”

She looked up, and there was a hardness in her eyes that spoke of the woman she had been three years past.

“This demon was a fool to attack me,” she said softly. “Have you read Boethius, Father? When I was younger, I was not sure of his beliefs, that for the suffering that comes to us, there can be found some compensation. It seems so many suffer. But I think I understand one thing: this child is not that demon’s. This child is mine. If there is any compensation in this world, then this will be mine. And if they thought to break me so that I would bare it for them…they will find that they have been mistaken in the strength of my soul.”

* * *

It took no time for the rumors to start. Sister Adhan was a pretty woman, with long fair hair and blue eyes that would have given her many suitors if she’d allowed it. It was easy to assume that she had broken her vow of chastity.

The moment her belly became to show, those rumors began and would only grow in power and volume.

And for now, Blaise did not speak of what he had heard.

It was better for her to be disgraced than for her to have rumors of her entertaining a demon.

There were too many who would take such a union and spin tales of Adhan’s willingness to such a disgusting thing. Adhan didn’t give many details, even as she began to eat carefully and seclude herself as sickness took her in the morning. However, the Mother Superior’s face told him that she knew, far too well, what had happened. The sisters seemed to know as well.

They had prepared a place quietly, but there were whispers, and nervousness.

What manner of _thing_ would she bare?

The greatest problem, however, was everyone who came in from the village.

And Mair.

Adhan’s sister had returned, in a fine dress with rings on her fingers. Once she had been a sensible looking young woman, but now there was no sign of that in her. Not now that her cheeks were rosy with stolen life.

She smiled when she saw him, rather than glowering as she had at the Mother Superior, who had looked as if she would have liked to have thrown the woman out right there.

“I’m glad you came, ‘Father’,” Mair said, putting some ironic emphasis on that word. “How is she doing?”

“She is exhausted,” Blaise said.

“Nightmares?” Mair was a picture of sisterly concern. “She used to get them as a child. I worried that they might come back as she was under stress. She’s very much Bine…”

Bine, who had died after nearly three months of torment, buried alive. He had always assumed Mair had fallen some time after everything, but…had that been her doing as well?

“She’s complained of such things,” Blaise said.

“I would be far better for her if she confessed what she’d done, or simply not bothered to be the good girl,” Mair said, smiling. “Of course, I shall take the child when it is born.”

There was not even an attempt at compassion. Still given the smile on her face, Blaise could at least be assured the woman thought she was among friends. If he was going to learn anything, it would be best for him to not dissuade her of that illusion.

Standing up, Blaise shut the door after looking into the hall. 

“There is no one here, Mair, you can speak freely,” he said. “Few people know of my magecraft, so they are unlikely to question why you would be with your family’s confessor.”

“Oh I don’t care about _that_ ,” Mair said, laughing. “Humans are so stupid sometimes. I suppose you want to know just what we have?”

“It would be beneficial,” Blaise said neutrally.

“The Root!’ Mair almost squealed with glee. “We’ve found a way a connect a child of a woman with a magic circuits to the Root! Of course, it required the summoning of an incubus, but that was a small price to pay! Imagine, this child could be connected, fully, if we used it…”

The Root.

Of course, the Root. What else could they have been searching for other than all of the knowledge of the universe, and what did it matter if one individual suffered so long as that goal was achieved. This was the very thing that he had sought to avoid.

Blaise was old. The concept of the Root was no longer one that held any joy for him, though as a young man, he had dreamed of it now…well…he was too old for dreams of greatness. The future belonged to the young.

Like Adhan.

“What are you asking me to do?”

“Keep close. Make sure she has the child…and then let its father take it back. You can sever memories, right? It would probably be better for her if she didn’t remember this. Besides, we don’t want her looking for the child.”

This was what the search for the Root did to people. Mair couldn’t even care less about what she was talking to him about, so long as she got her connection to the Root. Whoever suffered, whoever died, all of them were perfectly acceptable sacrifices, so long as the Root was reached, and all knowledge attained.

It was not his foresight that allowed him to see what would be. The child, if brought to them, would be their tool. It might be killed, though it would more likely be raised to be their monster.

“Yes, memories, connections…”

Magecraft. The soul.

It had been a very long time since he had used it for such things. It had been a thing he did not regret, but he did dream about. He dreamed about it all the time. His mother’s screams, his father’s last gurgling breath, his bothers’ cries of pain. And that feeling of that _thing_ touching him. Even briefly, seeing what it planned…

That was when he’d understood that the Swirl of the Root must never be reached.

“That’s perfect,” Mari said. “Your being here will make this all the better. I’m surprised Yvan thought that we should avoid you, but I knew better. I remembered you back when you were working more on Alchemy. I knew those whispers about apostacy were nothing more than rumors. I’ll make sure to spread a few rumors to the nuns they strike me as practical women. That should be enough to cut her off from too many people who might get in your way.”

Blaise smiled.

Adhan had made her choice. It seemed that Blaise would have to make his own.

If that child was nothing more than a puppet for the Root to lure others to itself, he could not allow it to live.

“That’s not necessary,” he said. “I will be prepared to do what is necessary.”

* * *

Despite his attempts to dissuade her. Mair did spread her venom. According to her the ‘devil’ was her old lover, and a nun having a forbidden tryst was a far more believable story than the one Adhan told, so soon, that pregnancy was more of an arrest of being locked in one of the towers, away from the others, both for her safety and for her punishment.

There was a small blessing that Adhan’s pregnancy was an easy one, at least physically. She was confined to the Nunnery, as more and more whispers filled the hall, and several women gave her dark looks, and accursed her story as a obvious lie and Blaise as a superstitious old man.

Yet, she’d had no morning sickness, and while she mentioned feeling the baby move, it never kicked, never caused cravings, though Adhan mentioned strange dreams of swirling colors and warmth, and _want_.

“I should count myself blessed,” she had said once, and resting a hand on her swollen stomach. “it’s been an easy child. I’m looking forwards to meeting them face to face. I hope it looks nothing like the father.”

Blaise could do nothing but smile at her and leave her to her hopes. He didn’t have the heart to tell her what he would do.

Labor came and ended swiftly, with the women rushing in while he watched and waited and then leaving quietly.

“Never had a child come so easily,” the oldest nun, murmured. “And those eyes…perhaps there is truth to her words…”

“Sister Rhys, can you really believe it was a _devil_ that saw her?” another younger nun laughed.

“I’ve heard her family consorted with those things…” the third said, looking behind her at the door.

“Hush,” Sister Rhys said, shaking her head. “There are more devils in this world than you know.”

Blaise stepped forwards.

“The child…”

“Healthy,” Sister Rhys said. “Sister Adhan as well. She’s resting now, but I’m sure your being there will give her some comfort. She wept on seeing that child’s face.”

Poor Adhan.

She knew.

“I will go immediately,” Blaise said, nodding once and setting off to the small tower room where Adhan had been confined, both for her own safety, and because of her sister’s rumors.

It was light, but cold, winter sun was setting through the windows, giving a feeble light, but one that still one that allowed him to see Adhan curled on herself, and the form beside her.

The child.

Blaise stared. The child had blue eyes, clear and as reflective as crystal gazed back at him. Wisps of pale golden hair were already visible. The child would grow to be beautiful, there was no doubt of that, but he couldn’t stop feeling as if he was looking at a thing in the form of a human.

Perhaps it was the way it was staring up at him. Those glassy eyes empty. Perhaps it was how still the child was.

“Has it moved since…” he asked.

‘It’. The word just came out, but nothing else could describe this…thing.

To call it a ‘child’ would have been an insult to God himself.

“No,” Adhan mumbled, her voice wasted with energy and trial. “I haven’t heard a cry…or any sound. It just…sits and stares… It scares me…”

“Rest, Adhan. You’ve struggled enough,” Blaise said softly.

He would wait, at least until she slept.

But even as Adhan nodded and leaned back, and the child watched him, he found himself drawn to the thing. There was something almost entrancing about those eyes…

Without even realizing what he’d done, Blaise touched the child’s forehead.

Magic burned up his arm like fire, and Blaise jerked his arm away, but even with that defense, he’d felt it. The Root. That thing that the Mages always sought. …it was no surprise the child, even at it stared up at him with some ungodly knowledge was silent. It was busily having all the knowledge of the universe connected to it. Every world, every possibility.

And it appeared that that manifested as a malevolence.

No.

That…that wasn’t right.

There had been a horrible intent in that attack, but…

It should have killed him.

Something had held it back. It couldn’t be the child. That _thing_ was nothing more than a vehicle for the Root to move through, separated from its life. Perhaps it could even be called a mercy, though he knew he was merely trying to make himself feel like less of a murderer.

Yet…

Was there something within that child that had held back? This was the child of a demon, yet…

He frowned at the child, and the child gazed back up at him, inviting, calm. The next time he touched it would kill him. Whatever had stopped it…that had been all it was capable of, Blaise knew it. It would bring suffering and misery to all, deceive the nations, lead to a darkness the Saxons couldn’t dream of..

Unless…

Unless that glimmer of free will…

He could not allow this.

Adhan deserved better, and…so did this child. It at least deserved the _chance_ for it to live, and if there was nothing there, if the Root had consumed all…then…then he would end its suffering.

But that was the purpose of Baptism, wasn’t it? Because humanity did deserve better than what the mistakes of the past had afforded them.

They deserved the chance.

It might not bring salvation, but it allowed that potential. It wasn’t an assurance, but it was a hope.

And maybe that was all this child needed: hope.

There were no implements of Baptism here. That was done after the child had been able to live for forty days, unless emergencies, and he had not bothered to bring his own, but in the case of this, any vessel would do.

The nuns had left a ladle and water that had used to cool Adhan’s fever, and there was holy water left…just in case.

It was enough. The water, the ladle…and his own power.

He approached again, noting that Adhan’s hands were around the child, holding it to her, as he poured the water into the ladle, and whispered his own incantation. To sever a bond, or rather a chain.

For a second, a blue sheen appeared over the water, making it glow with a cold pulse, but then it was back to what it was, and Blaise poured it on the child, praying that this would be enough, that his power, as weak as it was, would be enough…

But something else was there.

It was a presence that he could not see, but only felt, just as that night when Adhan. A cold, sinking feeling a dread that stole into the room and caused him to freeze as the sun completely disappeared over the horizon.

Something black was forming in the corner of the room.

Blaise couldn’t see its true shape, only the mass of darkness with only two points of white light that appeared where eyes should be. A demon. A formless monster that fed on the nightmares of others, as well as their passions, spreading their spawn through the pain of others.

The child’s sire had come.

Blaise froze, his mouth suddenly dry. Had had just missed his chance?

The thing drifted closer, eyes locked on him. It was-

The pitcher that had been at the side of the bed whizzed by his head, flying straight through the creature and shattering against the wall. While it didn’t seem as if the thing had caused damage, it stopped, as if shocked that any form of retaliation was possible.

Adhan was sitting up in bed, gripping the child and pulling it to her. The child, did not resist, but rather, its calm glassy eyes gazed up at her, as if attempting to understand.

“Father Blaise, continue the Baptism!”

Her words, cut through the strange stupor he had been falling into like a knife. He whipped around, grabbing the ladle, even as he felt the thing regaining itself and starting forwards.

“Name the child!” Blaise said frantically. “It cannot take anyone who has been claimed! Adhan!”

He glanced back. The thing was moving frowards, something almost like a mouth turning up in a grin.

“Merlin!” Adhan screamed. “Your name is Merlin!”

The child, for the first time, reacted, it jerked back gasping and small eyes opening wide as Blaise felt something great and powerful and too much for any single mind to bare snap back.

“Merlin, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, with this, I Sever your bonds, and with this, you are a new life!”

A rushed ritual, but the child gasped, jerking again, even in Adhan’s grip. It sounded like something had hit it, and he felt that same presence that he had barely even sensed before recoil again, and then as he made a swift motion with his hands, snapping, and splintering, as the child cried out once, and ceased.

The thing in the corner stopped, pausing and looking between them, as if confused.

“Do you hear us?” Adhan snapped, looking at the thing. “This child’s name is Merlin. Not some faceless _thing_ with no name, voice or identity! Go back to whatever you serve and send a message from me: ‘You will never have my child. And if you come back, I will be prepared for you.’”

She was holding…Merlin…closely to herself, glaring out. Adhan had no magecraft, but in that moment, he almost, almost sensed…something coming from her.

But finally, slowly at first, so that Blaise wasn’t sure what he was seeing was real…the incubus vanished into darkness, so that at least, there as only the normal calm dark of evening starting to steal over the room. The bells of vespers began to toll, a clear, welcome _human_ sound without magic or monsters.

For a moment, all Blaise could do was breathe, looking at the place where the thing had once been. The feeling of its presence was gone. Even if it still lingered in some nightmare, it could not return for the child, he knew, but still, it felt unreal.

“Father Blaise…” Adhan’s voice was a whisper, but not of fear…

He turned to see Adhan, starting down at her child, watching with wide eyes as its form shimmered with a pink glow and little Merlin’s body changed.

The hair, which had been little golden wisps lengthened and tangled, until it was as long as the child, and fluffing around it like thick down. The gold leeched out, as if being drained away, as the hair turned to silver but some of that light from the transformation remained, shimmering like mother of pearl.

As Blaise draw closer, the baby blinked large eyes at him. Eyes that before had been light blue and but yet empty as a cloudless sky were now the color of lavender, and shown with a bright, inhuman intelligence as the child learned towards him, blinked at him, and then looking around the room, reaching out for everything.

It was completely inhuman.

Adhan, though…rather than gasp in fear, or drop the child, sighed slightly, holding Merlin closer to herself.

“You’re better…” she sighed, and smiled down at it. “I was worried that you’d be as fearful as your father and people would hate you…but you look like an angel.”

The baby turned its eyes on her, and slowly a small hand reached out for her as the baby seemed to nestle closer.

He should be worried, scared, of this intelligence and that appearance, but…this felt better than the that he had seen before, no matter how human it seemed. There was no malice in that gaze, and something far softer in that appearance.

Blaise smiled as Adhan leaned back, allowing her child to rest beside her.

“Will you stay here a while, Father?” she asked.

“Yes, you may rest,” Blaise said. “I will watch the child as you sleep.”

Adhan gave him a tired smile.

“We did it,” she said.

“No, you did. Your persistence and love spared Merlin,” he said. “I believe that was enough…for even a glimmer of their soul to shine through the _thing_ that others attempted to bring into the world. Had it not been for you…I doubt there would have been anything to save.”

No. He knew it. 

Adhan looked as though she would have liked to have said more, but she was asleep in moments. Yet, as she lay still, the child continued moving.

While before it had merely lain there like some child’s toy, now it opened and closed small hands, reaching towards Adhan and then towards him, looking around with those bright eyes, and then back to examining the hands and feet.

As if relishing the ability to move at all.

What manner of life had he allowed to be brought into the world? Nothing like this child had been born before, or would be born after. There would be trials and fears.

Adhan still lay with her child, all but imprisoned.

But for now, Blaise draw closer. In a leap of faith, he reached out, moving some of the child’s mane of hair. A small hand shot forwards, fingers wrapping around his own.

A he was granted a vision. 

He saw Merlin, standing as an adult, surrounded by flowers, smiling at him as if all would be well, no matter what. A creature meant to be an enemy of humanity, but whose heart knew only love for them, regardless of whatever pain Merlin knew.

Kingmaker.

Kingslayer.

The greatest Magus to ever live.

Magus of Flowers.

His mercy had altered the course of history.

Blaise was an old man. The Apostate Mage who denied the Root. He had no business to hope for himself. The future belonged to Adhan.

And now, because of him, it belonged to this child.

And yet, as a small hand closed over one finger, and a smile that should not be able to form appeared on the child’s face, he thanked God that he had been able to grant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I've been planning this for a while, but I'm really excited that it's out now! I hope this clears up some things that I've got. 
> 
> If you're curious, my primary source for this was Robert de Boron's Merlin and the Grail, which is the first coherent account of Merlin's origins. Hope you enjoyed and leave a comment!


	5. Our Meeting in the Sea of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilgamesh meets a mage, makes a contract, and decides to entertain himself.

Gilgamesh, He Who Had Seen the Deep, the King of Heroes, had slept for an age. The swirling mud of the Sea of Nothing was a dull place, but it was suitable to nap. At least, it was preferable to the farce of a war that the Moon Cell had constructed.

It was still unbearably dull.

The farce that that rock had attempted to recruit him into until it realized that there was no possibility that he would dance to its measure, so it had shut him away. It was aware, for it’s part, that for it’s goal, Gilgamesh could not be used. He was, of course, too powerful for such a inelegant brawl, fit only for mongrels and pigs to root around after a grain of a treasure.

So, Gilgamesh had slept, wrapping himself in the malice of the Far Side of the Moon and a dream of his city until finally the motion and sound, as if of chittering birds, and an uneasy dream of an undying mongrel had woken him from his deep dreaming.

The Far Side was as ever swirling darkness, mud, and the remnants of whatever things that Moon Cell no longer required. As it had never been programmed to delete those things which it no longer required, so it merely moved and repurposed.

Yet, there was a shift.

Some spark of order in the chaos that threated to engulf and destroy any fool who came too close to it, perhaps the sound of that confusion had been enough to rouse him from his reverie.

No.

There was something else.

A woman.

She plummeted into the darkness of the Far Side, falling through the Sea of Nothing, yet she was not consumed.

She was uninteresting to gaze upon normally, but in contrast to the monotony of the Far Side, Gilgamesh could not help but noticed her cedar colored hair, pallid skin and the brown monstrosity that the Moon Cell had determined should exist as human clothing. It was enough that he considered ending the woman’s life for the offense of appearing before him in it, but as it was a mandatory element, he would forgive it.

Besides…this was…interesting.

Masters were not permitted on this side, but it was amusing to watch. How long would she manage to hold herself together, he wondered. Yet, even as she continued to fall, there was no change, her body almost seemed consumed but then never vanished.

It was rather like watching an ember in the dark, one final shard of a dying fire, but yet one that refused to give up its light.

He drew closer. In this space, there was no different between falling and floating. For there was no end or beginning, so direction was as meaningless as time itself.

“I should give up,” the women muttered. “There’s no way….no end…no one’s coming…I should just forget… _I_ _WON’T!”_

The sudden cry of defiance against the evitable that rushed from her lips caused Gilgamesh to pause.

He had been considering granting her mercy, but _this,_

Power rushed from those words, reaching and grasping at any and all near, latching on to him with intent to draw him to her air.

A summoning!

_How dare she!_

Still…

“How amusing,” Gilgamesh said aloud, a smile that he had not felt in an age starting to creep across his face. “Even as you prepare to lose yourself, you retain something that you still cannot forget? It is a small, but powerful echo of a powerful desire. For you to awaken me from my boredom induced slumber…you must be a woman who desires much, in spite of your own mediocrity.”

His amused voice had carried in the nothingness it seemed. Gilgamesh could hear the faint gasp as she found herself in the presence of absolute power.

The woman turned towards him, giving him a look at a young face. Not unpleasing to the eyes but lacking anything that could be considered truly beautiful. Still…there was something…interesting about that look on her face.

Even if…as she presumed to look upon him, he could see the arrogance of all mages when it came to this game.

“You lack manners,” Gilgamesh snapped. “A lowly mongrel as yourself has no right to gaze upon my radiance without my permission.”

The mage, for her credit, ceased her action, but Gilgamesh was not done. He would not permit any mongrel who would dare presume to summon _him_ to hold so much as a word over him! And in this place…that was something he could ensure.

“I do not permit commoners to look upon me, nor to make requests of me, nor to speak to me! By all rights, I should cut you into eighths right now for your actions. However…”

Here he paused, gazing at the still form before him. Good. A mage who had been made aware of her place. Now, it was time to show her his generosity, at the price of any pretense of power over him.

“Insofar as your begging was wretched, it was impressive. Therefore, I shall give you one chance. A chance of recovery you may call it. Answer me this: Are you my Master, as a token of your thanks, offer me your wisdom.”

It was a test, of course. Could this woman both determine and pay the toll necessary for him to tolerate her on this side of the Moon? It was a whim, of course, but one grew bored after so long a sleep, and Gilgamesh had no desire to return to it at present.

“Be quick about it!” Gilgamesh snapped. “Or next I blink, your body will be torn asunder.”

The woman froze again.

Currently, there were only two possibilities for the woman. She would either understand his meaning and survive or show her foolishness and die there and now. It was no matter to him. She would either know that no mage would hold sway over him, or she would die in her foolish pride.

Either was equally likely.

Still, Gilgamesh waited, observing the mongrel with unblinking eyes. It took far longer than needs be, and her found himself growing bored with her mediocrity.

Perhaps he had expected too much from a mage of this modern, and decayed time.

But then, a hard expression crossed her face, even as his own eyes began to tire.

“ _As your Master, I command you to let me look at you! As your Master, I command you to let me speak to you! As your Master, I command you to let me ask you questions!_ You want me to order you, fine! _I’ll offer everything as compensation!_ ”

Either command was a weak bind, something Gilgamesh could have torn off in a second, for as desperation strengthen her bond, his will was as absolute as his reign.

Yet…

Gilgamesh could not help himself.

He laughed aloud, taking in with delight the sight. It was a pitiful gamble, one where she had left herself open and thrown herself at his mercy in her bid to secure the right to speak to him.

It was a life thrown into darkness. A small spark that would fade in time, but yet…was…interesting…to gaze upon, and on a whim, he decided to pick it up.

Perhaps he was well and truly bored, but this joy…it was a familiar thing, and if the mage was willing to know her place, Gilgamesh was not in the habit of denying himself pleasure.

“Very well!” he grinned. “In compensation for your Command Seals, I grant you the opportunity to question me! I bequeath unto you the privilege of speaking to me! And I shall forgive you the trespass of looking upon me!”

Not hesitating for an instant, the mongrel wrenched her eyes open, and the world altered.

As a Master, it was necessary to give the chaos of the Far Side form, as such the mess of code and malignant data arranged in a moment, to a starry sky where he, clad in his splendid golden armor, watched, arms crossed to see her reaction to gazing upon a king in all his radiance.

Her dirt colored eyes widened, and a hand shot up to cover her mouth. Not in recoil, but in naked awe and perhaps some fear.

Good.

“Ah…that is not a bad face,” Gilgamesh said. “To look was one third of your permissions, I believe. Then look well.

As the woman recovered her senses enough to converse with one such as himself, he gleaned what little information through their bond that he wanted. If he was to accept this mage as a source of entertainment, it would be necessary to speak it on occasion if necessary, or to be sure he forgot it, as a means to reminding the mage of her place.

“Who…”

“Ah, it would be appropriate for you to give your name,” Gilgamesh ignored her words, Hakuno Kishinami. That is your name? As you have sacrificed your Command Seals you have become my Master. As a Servant, I am able to, at least, discern my contractor’s name. Though I do not abide by those rules.”

He would not permit her to order him, let alone use him in whatever foolishness had brought her so far. It was not particularly worth looking into, but it would be necessary to let he see. After all…there was a place that she would soon be, which seemed…interesting.

“What…you…are my _Servant_. No. You…I’d have known you if you were my Servant,” his contractor said, her face calm but her body still spoke of shock, even as she floated.

“Hn,” Gilgamesh grunted. “It appears your memories are still confused. You might have ‘awakened’ in this place, but you are still lacking in all respects.”

“Thanks,” the girl muttered.

Gilgamesh ignored the bitterness of her tone. Though…if he might have explained to her on a whim he would do so no longer. 

“However, I will not explain for you. That would be…tiresome,” Gilgamesh said, smirking at her. “There should be at least one attendant who has awakened. You may ask one of them.

“A Servant…” the woman muttered, and Gilgamesh briefly wondered if he had, in his reckless whim, tied himself to a simpleton. “I know you saved me…but…I just…can’t see you as a Servant. Can you tell me your name? Or you class?”

Gilgamesh frowned.

She did not _know him?!_ How could she, who had by his generosity been contracted to he who stood above all kings!?

And _CLASS!_ As though he were some common mongrel to be forced into some class based on whatever mediocre skills they possessed!

“Do not group me with that common rabble who dare call themselves ‘Heroic Spirits’!” Gilgamesh snapped.” I have no _class!_ What need have I of such a thing!? I am the first and most absolute of kings! Among heroes, I stand as King of Heroes, _Gilgamesh_. Therefore, it is meet that you will call me such as well!”

For a moment, he stood, arms crossed, glaring down at the woman, yet, she looked back at him.

There was no arrogant tirade for him to punish her for, rather she seemed to be watching him not with awe, but with a sort of worry.

It was dull to look upon.

Gilgamesh turned away.

“Very well,” he said. “When the time comes to fight, call me. I shall stave off boredom for a time by accompanying you.”

And that was the truth. This mage, arrogant and presumptuous as she might be…had still survived this place, and had managed to defy death long enough to gain his attention.

How long would that endurance last, he wondered.

He would watch.

With that he began to walk away, his armor, now physical, having a weight he remembered well.

“Wait!” the girl’s voice cut through the starry sky between them, and Gilgamesh paused. “Thank you. For saving my life. Can you…help me get out?”

He did not turn around to see any insipid expression or attempt to gain his favor. This woman must think him a fool if she meant to try _this_ method. What was more…

“You are mistaken,” Gilgamesh said, glowering ahead into the darkness. “You were saved by your own power. There was no room for me to intervene. You have already taken your place as a Master. You are not a prisoner to this Sea of Nothing. You have but to close your eyes and ask for it, and you will be returned to your proper place.”

What that place would be was not what she wanted.

He vanished, but turned back to see her eyes closed and her body fading.

A grin began to spread over his face.

“There is one more thing I did not mention, Kishinami,” he called. “This is your battle. I am here to enjoy myself by beholding it. You and I are not equals. I am merely lending my assistance to see how far your will can take you. Do not forget that.”

She opened her eyes once, staring into his own, and vanished into darkness.

…This would at least be…somewhat entertaining, even if the journey was likely to be a short one.

* * *

The Far Side’s school house was a drab thing, wooden, cheap, lacking all personality and beauty, stuffed with blank faced machines, a few cowering mongrels, the false priest who manned a small shop with an ugly smile on his face, and a depraved nun who wandered the halls with a hungry look.

All whispered of a strange new location, of a tree, and of missing knowledge of memories.

That last worry…that was an interesting one.

It was a dull stage for him to play on, but then, he was little more than the audience. He would allow the story to progress until he decided he would not have it, so for now, he would tolerate this stage.

The AI who managed the infirmary had mentioned a ‘non servant space’. While the creature had been polite, he had noticed the relief in its face when he had turned away.

His contractor would be there soon, and Gilgamesh would not wait like some dog for his Master. If she wished for him, she would have to approach him.

Mages were foolishly proud for humans, assured that some small knowledge and extra power afforded them some special place in the cosmos, and honor in the eyes of one such as himself. He would make sure she had no illusions of their…standing as equals.

There was a sound of the door sliding as his contracted stepped into the room. She was now clad in the same monstrosity that the other students wore. She also wore a worried look in her eyes.

Perhaps he had been wrong in that sea, and this in truth had been some last will…

He would see that for himself.

“What an awful face,” Gilgamesh said, not bothering to hide the amusement he felt. “Have you come across some spirit from Kigal? Are you nothing more than a criminal awaiting her sentence? Is this the result of that tasteless dream? Well, Hakuno Kishinami? Does there remain in you enough willpower to give voice to my name?”

If that spark of light had been all the fight left within her, he would leave her now and forget her. Last acts held no value to him.

The woman’s entire body stiffened, yet, even then, she held herself, watching him warily.

“You’re…Gilgamesh,” she said softly. “The Servant that I forged a contract with…before even getting a look at you, but… are you _really_ my Servant?”

What was that look on her face?

It was not reverence, nor was it the arrogance that he expected from the mage.

“A strange question. Of course I am your Servant,” he smiled, showing his teeth to her to make sure she had no illusions of a kindly gesture. “I am companion to Hakuno Kishinami’s joys and sorrows. I take the brunt of Hakuno Kishinami’s battles. I shall take pleasure in whatever becomes of her. If that is not to be called ‘Servant’, nothing can be. Though, it _is_ different from the usual contract. I have not the slightest interest in your goals or values. I merely have come to observe the human being called ‘Hakuno Kishinami’. I will offer my support for as long as my interest remains, but nothing more. Do not make the mistake of considering me your ally.”

He watched the small human for any change in her appearance, but other than a spark of resentment growing that the found…amusing at least…there was nothing in her droll expression.

Well, then he would press harder.

“You need not fear for now, Mongrel,” he said. “Your present situation is quite interesting. As such, here, on the Far Side of the Moon, I will provide you with power as your Servant. You have my word and would do well to listen to it.”

He was grinning even more at the end.

The woman’s body seemed tense, and for a moment, it looked as though she would dart from the room as if she was some mouse in the face of the cat. Should she do that, or should she be so foolish as to reject his aid…

Well, she was merely a life he had picked up on a whim. As such it was his prerogative when he would toss it away.

Would she, also, blindly accept his words? For that was little better and far more arrogant.

But the mongrel, while cowed, did not run, nor did she take his bait as some from of ‘tribute’.

“…You say that you’ll fight for me, but the sign of being ready to fight is that a Servant shows their personal data to their Master,” his contractor said. “But so far…I haven’t been able to see a single one of your abilities.”

Well, well, it appeared she was not entirely stupid. But he did not like the look in her eyes.

Defiance and resentment were one thing, and were well and good, but a darker…suspicious look at lit her eyes to him.

Did she not believe his own word!?

“Oh, very good,” he said softly, his grin growing wider. “Have you finally opened an eye to what occurs? Are you prepared? You gaze upon the king with suspicious eyes now. Is there some…comment…you wish to make? A judgment perhaps? Try it, though your life depends on you choosing your next words…carefully.”

It was his one warning.

For a time, watched her. Her dull face showing nothing of an expression even now, when her life would be measured in mere seconds. While her circumstances were amusing, he would not accept her pretense to _think_ he owed her some information on himself.

Mages truly were haughty in their mediocrity.

But the young mage’s head shot up, her hands suddenly balled into fists, and a bright spark seemed to light her pallid features.

“There’s no way I can trust you!” she burst out. “If I’m going to die no matter what I do or say, I’ll say what I want: You tell me I have your word, but I cannot trust some random person whose identity I don’t know!”

“Oh…”

It was the same spark that he had seen and had woken him from his dreaming alone with her cry of defiance. Even now, though her knees trembled and she gasped slightly for air from the effort of defying him…she still stood her ground.

It was not impressive of course. It was a pitiful desperate attempt to gain his attention.

And yet…

“…There is a saying in this country: ‘A cornered mouse will bite the cat’ no? If trapped, even something as weak as a mouse will turn to challenge and enemy far superior… Very well. For that, I will forgive your suspicious gaze. They may be minimal, but you have some things to recommend you. That resentment in your eyes for one. Still, you claim ‘you cannot trust one you do not know’ yet, you are the fool who sacrificed your three Command Seals to me without knowing my identity. I wonder if all of your actions shall be so amusing.”

The Mongrel seemed to cringe at his words. Yet, she did not deny them.

It was… _almost_ interesting. Of course, she could not be interesting in and of herself, yet…

“However, I will not consider your feelings. Your ignorance is astounding, Mongrel. Yet…I have seen that there is some reason for it…”

He had heard snatches of conversation, after all. She too likely was missing much, or not all, given her general lack of understanding. That much, he could forgive.

“Very well,” he nodded to himself. “I will allow you to investigate my identity freely. During what time you have, it would behoove you to seek it out. You know my tree name. It should be simple to find my legend.”

Whatever the Moon Cell might desire, his story was the basis of all stories, and so, would, of course, remain in a place of prominence, until the end of time.

As he was done with this tiresome talk, he turned moving towards the door.

“What are you-“

“You don’t understand?” Gilgamesh smirked, humans of this world and time were truly slow. “I am telling you that if you understand your ignorance, and seek to rectify it, I will overlook your blasphemy of not knowing me. Then, and only then, will I permit your equally blasphemous proposal to see my personal data, my _heart_ , as it were. As such, you had better be off. You are the one who declared that you must know the situation before you. Then there is no reason to stay in this box.”

“You realize nothing changed?”

The Mongrel had yet to move as she had been told.

Gilgamesh scowled. Had she truly assumed that he would just _tell_ her of himself?

“Do not be ridiculous, Mongrel,” he said. “I have no intention of telling you anything of myself. You must prove yourself, and my story may come later.”

He chuckled to himself about just how ridiculous both concepts were, her assuming that he would feel obliged to tell _anyone_ of himself as well as her ever reaching the point where he _would_ speak.

“Heh…it would be a slim hope indeed to expect you to reach the point where I would tell you my tale. It is enough for the mediocre to run about busily as they are meant to.”

“I-“

Gilgamesh turned away again, opening the door and stepping down the hall, paying no mind to the frustrated call behind him. She was less tiresome than he expected for a mage, he conceded. At least her soul was not hideous to see, and she would not die from her own arrogance.

It would be an amusing diversion, Gilgamesh decided. That defiance was something worth testing at least.

How long, he wondered, would Hakuno Kishanami be able to last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka The King of Heroes is impressed, doesn't want to admit it, and has no idea what he's gotten himself into.


	6. Lanterns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween with Gilgamesh and Hakuno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how Halloween-y this is or just fluff...but here you go.

Hakuno was fairly sure Gilgamesh had no real understanding of Halloween. Other than it was a day to show off his wardrobe and give candy to children. Then again, Hakuno was pretty sure _she_ didn’t understand Halloween either.

It wasn’t something that mattered, as the leaves, now different shades of brown, red, orange and yellow, and a strange…warm smell that Hakuno didn’t know filled the air. It seemed that everyone was excited, even a small group of teenagers who were rushing by, holding something as they laughed.

Gilgamesh had suggested the move the United States, being curious about this “land without Mystery” or probably more interested in looking to prove that there was mystery and add any treasures the world might have overlocked to his own collection. Still, while they were there, they’d found large, old house that was quiet enough for Hakuno’s taste and close enough to the downtown for Gilgamesh. 

But apparently holidays like Halloween were a big deal, given the sudden new neighbors asking what they were planning. Sakura had mentioned something, but Rin and Rani didn’t know much. Halloween hadn’t really been all that important on the Earth that the Moon Cell had awakened on.

Maybe that was why she was confused about the whole thing.

Like how the pumpkin was supposed to protect them from monsters.

Hakuno had some vague understanding of the story, mostly thanks to Sakura and Rin (Rani had just called it silly). Once there was a man who managed to trick the devil and humiliated him when he had come for the man’s soul. When he had seen the devil come, the man had carved a face out of a pumpkin, using the glowing face to terrify the thing that had been coming for his soul. The man though, had died eventually, and because he had been an unkind man, tormenting his neighbors with pranks and general cruelty, the gates of Heaven had been sealed against him, but the gates of Hell were also closed to him.

So, he had taken a coal from the fires of Hell, and had placed it in that very pumpkin he had carved the scare the devil, teaching others to do the same, and continued to wander the world.

Gilgamesh had sniffed when he’d first seen her bring a pumpkin back from shopping, Claiming that this was just some poor mockery of the _real_ tradition. Which apparently involved a turnip.

Regardless, Gilgamesh seemed to enjoy the other ‘fake’ traditions. Other than seeming annoyed that she hadn’t gone for his ‘emperor and empress’ outfits that he’d waited to get. He could be the emperor of the universe if that was what he wanted, but Hakuno honestly…she wanted to just be something small and normal.

So she’d gone as a witch.

Which was how Gil, the emperor in all his glory, and Hakuno in a black and orange witch outfit that she was…sort of enjoying…

That was way, in addition to Hakuno’s pumpkin, which she thought was fairly good, there was a old, crudely carved turnip, hanging up beside it.

“What…is it?” Hakuno asked.

It looked like a withered human face. The thing had small eyes that seemed to gleam up at her, and a primitive mouth with awful looking gums and rounded teeth grimaced into the night, the light inside making it worse. Which…Hakuno learned forwards, was that a coal?

“It looks…horrifying.”

“Mongrel that is the point,” Gilgamesh scowled. “Do you not know the tale behind this ugly thing?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Hmph, this lantern is a trophy of victory and a memory of the humiliation of a fool. It is fitting that it should hang above the dwelling on a day of childishness. But…I will admit it’s appearance is…less than satisfying.”

It was weird to think that THIS was probably a Noble Phantasm. If it was, what did it do?

Gilgamesh grinned at her.

“Perhaps have the children have had their merriment I’ll shall tell more of it. Apparently, once, this was a time of tales of those long dead. Or perhaps it was the night after… Regardless, it is of no matter. Come, Hakuno, let us prepare. As you have declined to dress the empress, than it shall be you who serves them!”

"Gil!"

"I jest, Hakuno. It is the season for such things, is it not? Though these confections...perhaps gold will be better for those who pay proper homage."

"If you do that, we'll need to move again."

Also, he was still clearly annoyed about the costume.

But really, just because they were…what they were (even calling it a relationship was always so weird) Hakuno wasn’t sure about the whole…couples’ costume… Particularly after coming to this country, she’d seen it advertised a few times, but she wasn’t sure about it.

Or maybe it was the lingering feeling that, no matter how many expensive things Gilgamesh heaped on her, (that was his way of showing affection after all) she was a little better than a child playing dress up.

It suited this day.

The lights in the streets started to turn on, and she could see a large, full moon rising as children in brightly colored costumes started to emerge from their houses, but Hakuno remained, watching Gilgamesh’s awful turnip, and her smiling pumpkin.

She turned to leave when something caught her attention, a strange old man was walking towards her.

By this time, Hakuno knew most of the surrounding neighbors, but she’d never seen him before, and he wasn’t with a child. And…maybe it was the way the leaves swirled around him, or maybe it was just…some sense that maybe being connected to the Moon Cell had given her, but…

He wasn’t human.

“Gil,” Hakuno called, tepping into the house.

Gilgamesh, being Gilgamesh, had managed to, some time when her back was turned, decorate the entire hall that any child would see for Halloween. Cobwebs lined the walls, black candles glowed in fancy holders, and she was pretty sure that Gilgamesh was using at least one noble phantasm to cast an eerie glow over everything.

Gilgamesh himself stepped in from the room he’d been in, frowning.

“Mongrel, what are you-“

“Gil, I think there’s a god wandering around outside?”

Now _that_ caught his attention.

Gilgamesh was in front of her, his emperor’s outfit shimmering as golden armor replaced it, and Hakuno could see the silver of the Chain of Heaven in his hand as he stepped to the door, opening it, but paused.

The dark look on his face, turned to amusement, and the slits of his eyes stsarted to relax.

"So that fool is still..." he muttered, but rather than frowning, his face was morphing into a smile.

One that Hakuno knew well.

It was that sharp smile, were something cruel always lurked, almost like jagged ice. Hakuno was reasonable sure that was the look he’d given Ishtar, a very long time ago. He might just have a brawl with a god for his own amusement.

But before Hakuno could step up or say anything, or even Gil could, the old man had approached them himself, a benign smile on his face.

Up close, he was…sort of forgettable. His hair was grey, but Hakuno could see some faded brown streaks in it, and his eyes from what she could see behind thick glasses, were a similar kind of washed out brown. Maybe he’d been good looking once, but now he was just an old man. Like many other old men she and Gilgamesh would pass and had passed.

Other than the sense that there was something completely different about him.

“I suppose neither of you know the direction to my nephew Henry’s?” he asked, smiling brightly.

Gilgamesh crossed his arm, his face in a deep scowl, but before he could say much, a small group of children watched over by their parents headed up the walk. They paused, probably somewhat intimidated by the fact that Gilgamesh had decided that “creepy and decrepit” didn’t suit him, but had opted to deck out the house in more gold ‘as befitting the king in his glory!’

He saw dressing as an emperor taking a step down.

King of Pride.

The children weren’t so intimidated. They ran up to Gil with large gap toothed grins, holding out their pillowcases.

“Trick ‘r Treat!” The smaller one called,

The ugly look that had been showing on Gilgamesh’s face softened only slightly, but before he moved to raise a hand and probably plop a gold bar into the children’s things, Hakuno rushed forwards with the cauldron she’d gotten and filled with candy.

“I’ve got it, Gil!” she said.

“You’re a witch!” the elder of the two said, looking from her to Gilgamesh and then to the stranger. “What are they?”

“He’s-“

“I am a low class ruler,” Gilgamesh said, a smirk in place. “One who requires the thrill of conquest to make up for my mediocre existence!”

He forgot he wasn’t wearing his costume anymore.

The kids stared at him.

“He’s an emperor,” Hakuno said.

“Oh,” the kid said, frowning again, and then looking to the stranger. “…He looks like a knight.”

Hakuno really, really hoped he hadn’t heard that. While Gilgamesh’s opinion of knights was better having met Arthur, but it was best not to test that. He still was resentful towards Sir Gawain.

“I am…Jack, from Jack and the Beanstalk!” the old man smiled.

“…you got old,” the older of the two kids said, just softly enough that their parents, didn’t notice.

“…Well, that happens,” ‘Jack’ said, smiling, but Hakuno couldn’t help but see a strange…tightness in his face. “Buuut I can still play the golden harp!”

Hakuno couldn’t see where it came from, but the man took out a large, very ornate looking gold harp that didn’t look like it would have been out of place in Gilgamesh’s treasury. It also was too big for him to have had in his jacket somewhere without being really obvious.

“Are you seriously-“

He was.

With a single deft motion, the man stroked his hands against the strings, allowing a single sweet sound to penetrate the air along with…something else. Hakuno couldn’t quite describe the feeling…she felt…lightheaded almost. As if maybe she needed to sit down.

It couldn’t hurt right.

She just needed to set down this caldron she was holding…

…caldron.

Halloween!

There were people there!

Hakuno snapped back awake, just in time to see ‘Jack’ slowly edging towards the porch, cloes to the front door.

The children were sitting down, heads resting next to one another, completely asleep, as where their parents, who looked like they’d run closer only to be fall under the same spell. They were breathing fine, she could see that...they were the targets. Good.

Instinctively, Hakuno looked to Gilgamesh, but he had learned against a large, elaborate pillar that he’d set in the drive way as part of his…Halloween palace…

Was he asleep or...

She didn't have time!

“Codecast: add_barrier!” Hakuno cried, just as the man reached out for the…turnip?

‘Jack’ didn’t stop, but pressed himself against barrier, pounding…something…under his coat as if trying to break it down, and Hakuno did feel a strange kind of pressure.

Was he…seriously…trying to break through her barrier…to get to a carved turnip?

Yes. 

Yes he was.

“Gandr!” Hakuno called, as lightning moved to further stun the man.

For a second, she looked back at the street, but no one seemed to even notice.

Right.

Halloween

There was a couple down the street who had strange flashing lights that gave Hakuno a headache. There were special effects everywhere. No one would be thinking that this was anything strange…

…No one would know.

“Codecast: recover!” Hakuno called, pointing at Gilgamesh, feeling the energy leaving her body, but also feeling him stand and straighten.

“No no no no!” Jack pounded at the barrier hiding the outside again, but Hakuno couldn’t help that realization. He was going for the pumpkins. And only them.

He didn’t have much time to do that though because the golden axe managed to hit exactly where his had had been a second before.

Gilgamesh laughed, and bared his teeth in that old smile that Hakuno knew all too well. The one that promised nothing but blood.

“You are not the thief your stories claimed you were, Everyman,” Gilgamesh smirked. “More a shade of a trickster who lost all his power. Do you have any last request before I end your misery?”

The old man’s eyes darted between Gilgamesh, her, the sleeping family and then back to the barrier.

“I know when I’m beat…” the man said. “Just…let an old man hold his lantern again…for old time’s sake…”

He was so clearly planning something it wasn't even funny.

Gilgamesh laughed again.

“Mongrel!” he laughed. “Do you truly think that _that_ is yours? That I would stoop so low as to pilfer such a trifle? While it is true that I have overthrown the evils of the world and added all things to that which is mine, such a toy is hardly worth that effort! That is the _beginning_. It appeared in my treasury the moment, in that distant age, that you conceived of a way to trick the devil.”

The old man…Jack…no Jack of the Lantern. Or maybe…Jack…the peasant hero of so many stories, stiffened.

“Wait, Gil,” Hakuno said, resting her hand on his arm. “You mean…you thought we stole your…pumpkin?”

“The turnip actually,” Jack said, his eyes focused on Gilgamesh, and for a moment Hakuno was pretty sure she saw something like worry pass over his eyes, “Someone stole it while I was sleeping. When I woke up…”

He gestured at himself.

“And you presumed, fool, to steal from he who had everything?” Gilgamesh scoffed. “I am no giant who can be fooled by something so trite as a harp, and my Hakuno is no giant’s wife whose soft heart overrides her good sense!”

Jack though seemed to have finally gotten a read on the situation.

“I certainly never thought that you were _truly_ the great king,” Jack said bowing his head. “No, I merely thought, as anyone would that someone was using your illustrious name to cover themselves.”

Gilgamesh crossed his arms, but a smile was starting to appear on his face.

“Hmph, do not attempt to flatter me,” he said. “It means nothing to me.”

After all this time, she still wasn’t sure what made some flattery acceptable (or maybe funny) and others horrible.

At the same time, as pleased as he was, the golden ripples in the air hadn’t changed.

But Hakuno was only half listening, she was looking at where the family was still sleeping peacefully (clearly fine but hopefully they'd wake up soon), and then back into the street. There were more figures starting to appear.

She also really didn't want to see him _die_ because he'd made a mistake!

“Gil, er…” Hakuno said. “We’re going to get more kids really soon. And he wasn't like he meant to steal from us. He thought _we_ stole from _him._ How about this…Jack… can go if he wakes up those poor people and…I dunno maybe play some music for our party that…doesn’t make us go to sleep?”

It was one of the only things that Hakuno could think of that might make Gilgamesh reconsider that Jack was a life that should end now.

Gilgamesh paused thoughtfully, but then nodded.

“Very well, Hakuno,” Gilgamesh said, looking her over. “Though…you if you would stand beside me as a queen…I would desire you to dress the part.”

He was grinning at her.

“You…”

“Have you not, in this incident, observing the stranger, calling me to action, moving to defend our house and even this body of mine?”

“Er…yes?” Hakuno said, blinking.

“Then truly, my Hakuno, what more worthy place, you who would stand beside the King, besides his queen?”

He was smiling at her. That warm, joyful smile that he sometimes had…the one that reminded her of a golden city a very long way away.

“I want to wear it, but does it really suit me?”

“I suits you if I say it does!” Gilgamesh said, crossing his arms. “Dress as you will, make yourself up as you will, while I praise a beauty who has no need of artifice to attract, there is no reason to rejoice in the good things given to you, and hold your head as high as the one woman who shall ever sit as m equal.”

Hakuno sighed, looking down and feeling a blush coming to her face. Even as Gilgamesh approached, gently stroking her hair.

“Thanks, Gil,” Hakuno said. “I guess I’ll switch to that monster. Can you give out candy?”

“I shall give the children what their obeisance deserves,” Gilgamesh said, smirking. “As for you, Everyman.”

Jack started.

He’d been slowly edging away, closer and closer to the way out down the drive way.

“The kids and their parents should be waking up in like…a minute,” Jack said. “And you’re…queen…needs to get changed, so I guess I’ll just-“

Gilgamesh smirked, and a golden ripple appeared before him. A small strange looking bottle of a glowing liquid appeared before him, and Gilgamesh tossed it to the old man, who caught it in a second.

“You shall find the children who took in the house with the large spider,” Gilgamesh said. “When you retrieve it, you shall return and entertain myself and my queen in repayment for her mercy and my generosity. Though it would be best for you not to be as you are if you would gain it again. This is a worthless thing, so I suppose you may have it. I believe the phrase is 'trick or treat'.”

For a moment, the man hesitated, but then took a long drink, and, in a second, the old man was gone, in his place a young man stood, light brown hair and warm brown eyes that seemed to beg Hakuno to trust him, sparkled at her, and an easy smile appeared on his face.

This time, the bow was real both to her and to Gilgamesh.

“I’ll return with more than my lantern,” Jack said. “A trickster doesn’t always win, but this has been my best loss yet. I hope you both enjoy sweets!”

And with that, he was gone.

Hakuno watched after him, noticing as he returned to the crowded street and a few teenage girls paused as he stopped to chat before heading in the direction that he’d be sent.

“We’ve totally unleashed a monster into the world,” Hakuno said. “I’m surprised you were so generous.”

“That Everyman already wandered, and would have regained his youth. That potion merely made it more convenient for myself and you to have live music for this evening,” Gilgamesh snorted. “That fool is known to feel debt. Perhaps it shall turn to our advantage.”

Always a reason.

Also.

Hakuno's eyes narrowed.

"That spell didn't really affect you, did it?" she asked.

Gilgamesh crossed his arms, looking away.

"Had I intervened it would have been dull," Gilgamesh sniffed. "It was a mild jest. Besides, it was a prime chance to remind you of your place, beside the strongest Servant of all time! Now, go and adorn yourself. If you do, I shall treasure you!" 

Hakuno sighed, but she couldn't help but smile. While he was hedging around it...he'd been a little worried. It was their first Halloween as a couple...as...she looked at her hand, with the sapphire ring he had given her shone. She supposed she could forgive his trying to prove to her that she was...special. Or maybe just not some child playing dress up as a queen, but someone who...might not be a queen...but would be.

And soon. 

“…you know… I’m really glad to stand beside you,” Hakuno said, smiling at him. “Particularly since you forgave a mistake." 

She meant that. Gilgamesh might not admit it, but he _was_ growing kinder. 

Still.

"Just so you know, there’s a treat…or maybe a trick waiting after dinner," Hakuno smiled at him.

Gilgamesh started at that, and he turned to her with a slow blink.

“Wait do you speak of Hakuno?”

But Hakuno turned and hurried upstairs to get changed before he could demand an answer.

She couldn’t let Gilgamesh or Jack have all the teasing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Jack of the Lantern, Jack of the Beanstalk, Jake the Giant Killer and Stingy Jack are thought by some to be basically the same "Everyman".
> 
> If he were a servant, he'd probably be dangerous, more just clever. 
> 
> Too bad he went up against the worst people here.


	7. Ghost Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A broken down car and a strange party.

There was something about the road in the dark of night. Particularly in October. Perhaps it was the moon peeking through the bare limbs of the trees, or the smell of something wet and cold that seemed to bring haunted things to mind. Maybe it was just the dying of the year before the deep quiet of winter.

Regardless, it was something that could touch even the Magus of Flowers, creature of logic that she was.

Even farmland like what they were driving through had a sort of unreal quality to it.

Merlin had to admit, she was enjoying it. And even enjoying the concept of enjoyment again.

They’d been driving for a while, with Merlin and Arthur both switching as they moved from place to place, looking for rumors.

Or rather, looking for knights.

They hadn’t had much luck, even though Merlin had been carefully going through the most likely places, even if her Clairvoyance wasn’t showing her anything, but as she showed her ideas for routes or she thought would yield the best results, nothing had shown.

Bedivere had found some a story about a man in armor being arrested in a small town called Springfield. The problem, as they both found, was that there were many small towns by that name.

And Arthur was starting to look troubled. Arthur was good at hiding his emotions behind a smile, but Merlin knew him well enough to know when he was upset about something. Still, she hadn’t confronted him on it.

Maybe she was waiting for him to tell her. Maybe it was proof of how inhuman she was.

But until he did tell her what was on his mind, he’d let her decide how to best look for the knights.

After four of small towns named Springfield, Merlin had decided that she’d take over driving. Arthur might have been more than any mortal, but he was still subject to exhaustion. Merlin wasn’t.

Unfortunately, she also still wasn’t entirely used to new human technology.

Merlin felt the car run out of power. For a moment, the engine made a stutter, but then the entire thrust seemed to vanish, and they were coating moving on the residual energy. While there was no one behind them, Merlin acted quickly, jerking the car to the other side of the road and then turning to look over to Arthur.

Arthur Pendragon was hardly what any human being would call a ‘light sleeper’, but even a dragon could ignore the constant hum of the road, and she’d been enjoying the sense of his calm happiness as they drove, and even…the strange new sense of her own.

A small candle compared to his light, but…the warmth was an experience she’d thought she’d never know again.

It seemed that the sudden absence was waking Arthur up, as he slowly raised his head, blinking.

“Merlin, where are we?”

“Somewhere on highway 1,” Merlin said. “The car stopped working. I think maybe it was the gas, but…”

Cars were a modern invention that Merlin wasn’t yet completely familiar with, but it was something that she was learning.

Arthur sat up, looking out the window.

“We’re going to need to find someone to call for help,” Merlin said. “Do you have one of those cell phones Bedi had?”

“I think I left it,” Arthur said, looking at his pockets.

“You?”

“I…might have used the battery,” Merlin smiled.

“Doing…”

“Gatcha.”

Arthur just sighed a little.

“Well, lets hope that people are still up,” he said, opening the door before moving around to open hers before she could. She smiled a little, feeling that still strange warmth in his chest.

Fifteen hundred years and it was as if it was the first time she’d felt it.

To be fair, most of that time hadn’t involved feeling anything. But it did worry her. While she certainly had tasted Arthur’s feelings, a warm, sweet affection that tinged his dreams and all the food he made her, was this…just some reflection?

She didn’t want to think so. It…wasn’t the same as what she had known before, but…

No, she’d leave that alone for now. Merlin was good at avoiding problems, even those in her own mind. Particularly when there were more pressing things.

The path was long, winding, and didn’t seem to branch off into any other side roads, and looking ahead with her Clairvoyance there didn’t seem to be anymore nearby either. The wind picked up, and tree limbs groaned against one another as they rubbed gently, as Merlin wrapped her sweater around her a little tighter.

While Merlin rejoiced in her having a physical form, allowing her to interact with, speak with, and play with the humans around her, she wasn’t fond of the way that the cold seemed to rip at it, threatening to take that joy from her.

Arthur seemed to notice, since suddenly another loyer, this warmed with the natural heat of a dragon, was around her shoulders.

“Arthur-“

“It doesn’t much bother me,” Arthur smiled, “Anyways, I can smell a house a little bit out in the fields. There are…a pretty good sized group. Someone should be able to help, right?”

Must have been a Halloween Party.

Merlin had _watched_ All Hallow’s Eve turn into a day of monstsrs of supersitition, but she still didn’t understand it. Perhaps, even after all this time, she still didn’t really understand humans at all.

That didn’t stop her from looking forwards to the party. Emotions at any gathering ran high, and mostly positive. While she wasn’t particularly hungry, Merlin had learned to never pass up a meal.

You never knew when you might be hungry.

Arthur lead the way, over a small hill and towards what Merlin could now see was a small speck of light in the distance, over a hill that was covered with spotted pumpkins. She’d have thought they’d all have been harvested by this time, but it seemed that these hadn’t been sold.

Now they lay, quiet and peaceful, likely to be sold for something else.

As she passed, Merlin froze.

“Merlin?” Arthur paused, blinking at her.

“…There’s a barrier here,” Merlin said.

It wasn’t much, hardly something that could keep the stronger fae out, but she hadn’t thought to even see something like that here. Not in the modern world. But…

“Oh, it’s one of _those_ ,” Merlin said. “A creation of years of love reflected back.”

Arthur was giving her a somewhat frustrated look.

“You’re being cryptic again,” he said.

Merlin laughed.

“That’s mean,” she said, grinning. “Some places, those lived in and loved for generations…well, they can create a barrier. Or something like it…It’s strange though…that shouldn’t have taken power from me…”

Maybe there was a mage here? While the amount taken wasn’t much, it was still surprising.

Almost as surprising as when Arthur took her hand.

“Whatever it was, we’ll figure it out,” he said.

He smiled, that warm, sure look that he had, when somehow, he’d either assumed her lack of surety or was trying to reassure the two of them, but the warmth she could feel from him….that truly was bright and sure and sweet.

Over the hill, Merlin could see a farmhouse with a large barn below. While the house itelf was dark, and had a kind of desolate, haunted look that only belonged to a well loved house that had been neglected by aging residents, but the barn was filled with light, and Merlin could catch faint trances of…joy…light and sweet and ephemeral.

She smiled at Arthur

“You were right, it’s a party!’

But Arthur paused, looking down at the house with a small frown before turning to Merlin and nodding.

“Let’s see if there’s someone who can help us with the car,” Arthur said, Merlin caught a small twinge of uncertainty.

She’d need to be on her toes, but as they headed down the hill, towards the light and the warmth of the barn, it didn’t seem like much was off. Rather, the thing seemed like a cross between a Halloween Party and those barn dances that she’s occasionally peeked in on while she was in the Caves.

Merlin loved parties. She loved the emotions, the warmth, and the humans thriving around her, like a small field of flowers, bright and vibrant. It was too bad they weren’t in costume like the ones that she could see. It looked like the people there had chosen to dress like they would have well…roughly a hundred or so years past. It wasn’t easy to tell, but the people didn’t seem to mind as they approached.

Rather a tall, older man with a welcome that seemed to roll off of him approached, smiling but also looking concerned.

“You folks alright?” he asked, looking from Merlin to Arthur.

“Er…Our car broke down,” Arthur said. “We were hoping that someone here might be able to help.”

The man frowned.

“Huh. Well, I can’t say I’m good with cars, but tell you what, why don’t you say and enjoy yourself, and you can ask around while you’re here. If no one knows, you’re welcome to stay in the barn after the party. Things should sort themselves out, or you’ll be able to call someone for help then, right?”

Merlin smiled, but she was considering what he’d said.

While the offer was given with a whole heart, there was a twinge of…guilt?

Still, a vague streak wasn’t enough for her to confirm any suspicions that were growing on the back of her mind, so she’d hold off.

“That sounds good to me,” she smiled. “What do you think?”

Arthur nodded.

“Thank you, we’re sorry to impose.”

“It’s no trouble,” the man smiled as Merlin tasted the bittersweet relief. “Enjoy yourself. It’s a welcome! My daughter’s back from the city to stay!”

“Congratulations!” Merlin smiled.

“It’s the first time the whole family has been together…in a very long time. I know everyone would be happy to see new faces though, come in and try some of my old ma’s special cider.”

The barn was an image of a old story. Hay had been cleared aside, other than that which stood in the rafters, to make room for a large, very happy group of people, all dancing eating, drinking, laughing and embracing one another. On a makeshift raised area, a few, what looked like, younger family members had a band going, and here playing very cheerful songs. There was no electric lamps, only lanterns that somehow managed to give just enough light so that it didn’t feel dark or ugly. Someone, a woman, passed a cup into Merlin’s hand. It was hot and filled with a liquid that tasted like longing.

Arthur didn’t drink his cider, if that was what it was, but was watching everyone, a somewhat pensive look on his face.

“Anything wrong?” she asked.

“I’m…I might be wrong,” he said finally. “Besides, if I am…maybe it doesn’t matter.”

“You’re the one being cryptic now,” she teased.

Arthur smiled a little, even as the music changed people started putting down their drinks and food, clapping along and moving into a small circle.

This looked rather like…

Ah.

Merlin took a step back, but it was already too late. The man from before had appeared behind Arthur and Merlin, a big grin on his face.

“Come on, you two. It’s the big number!” he said.

Before Merlin could object, someone had taken her hand, whisking her away from Arthur and to the dance floor were several people were dancing in a circle.

Merlin was a succubus.

While she enjoyed her human from, there was little human about her save for the trait of having her own will and what few burgeoning emotions she possessed.

And when a succubus danced…it wasn’t a good thing.

Yet…as Merlin tried to somehow…dance her way to the sidelines before she could taste the familiar dreamlike bliss that meant she was going to have to go through a great deal of effort to impress on the poor fool who looked at her that he did in fact have a will and goal of his own, at least until it wore off…nothing changed.

Somehow…no one was looking, or the effect of her dancing wasn’t enough yet. That was the more likely option.

She needed to get away, but every time she got close, they pulled her back in.

“Don’t be shy!” a girl who looked a similar age to Merlin’s body said with a smile. “You’re so pretty, I’m sure that someone will choose to dance with you!”

While Merlin was well aware of and very pleased with her looks, she wanted to say that wasn’t what she was worried about.

They spun again, and this time, people were pairing up, choosing partners and moving into a…not waltz. If her powers had managed not to activate before…

A hand took hers, and Arthur pulled her to him.

“You’re ok,” he said. “I don’t think your powers affect them.”

“How do you know?” Merlin hissed.

“It’s…a feeling,” Arthur said. “I…I want to trust this one. In…in the past, I never trusted my instincts, but I want to try this time. Could you…please trust me?”

Trust him? Merlin had trusted him with her hopes and dreams, opening more of herself to him than anyone else aside from her own Mother. If there was anyone who could be said to understand the Magus of Flowers….that was Arthur.

Maybe it wasn’t love.

At least…maybe it wasn’t love in the human sense.

But…then…neither of them were humans.

“Of course,” Merlin smiled, gripping his hand stranger.

And danced.

* * *

The night whizzed by in a blur of motion and song and joy and occasional new faces as some dances required switching partners, and Merlin loved to dance. Yet…even as the grew heavy with the scent of fall flowers, and her own power was so clear Merlin could almost taste it, no one changed. Merlin was almost drunk on the feeling, and even the novelty that she COULD dance, as if she was human herself! It was such an rare turn of events that it had her nearly giddy.

Arthur was her partner most of all, laughing, almost like he had a very long time ago. Maybe this was something he needed. A break from looking for the others, wondering where they were or if they even wanted to return…

Maybe she needed one too.

The music very suddenly stopped, as Merlin twirled into Arthur, leaving both standing together while a young woman with a smiling face in a calico dress claimed to the podium. 

"We have to do this again some time," Merlin breathed. "I have no idea what the house is doing to protect them, but-"

“Merlin,” Arthur hissed. “My feeling is-“

“Mom..dad…everyone,” she said, her entire face shining with joy. “I…couldn’t be happier to be hope. I honestly thought that I’d never see you again, when I asked to be brought her, I just…hoped that some part of me would be able to be in the old place, where so many good times happened, and all the people I loved went. I can only hope that one day soon, my son asks for the same thing.

Merlin frowned as, beside her, Arthur nodded.

“As it is, thank you again,” the girl said. “And thank you, strangers. Thank you for coming, for dancing and laughing with us. I’m…sorry I cursed your car. I just…really wanted to see everyone…as they used to be. I promise it’ll be fine when you use it. Dad told me I was wrong for...well you know, and…I know Dad meant it when he said you were welcome here, so I hope you stay a little longer.

That energy!

Oh.

That meant-

The girl smiled, raising her glass.

“I'll stop rambling now, and let you get back to dancing. So here's a toast: to home,” she said, “May all of our loved ones return to us one day, and the places we loved always welcome us back.”

“Home!” a chorus of voices now distorted and strange rang out.

And suddenly, like someone turned off the light…

They were gone.

The barn sat, cold and still, though the hay had still been moved. Moonlight filtered into the center of the room, ,where the remains of a makeshift podium stood, but one that had long been forgotten. While a second about Merlin had felt and tasted the joy of reunion, now…

Nothing.

It was a little like having a warm cup of chocolate ripped from her, at least that is likely how Hakuno would have seen it.

“The illusion ended…” Merlin muttered.

Was that strangely sick emotion…indignation? She’d never been…indignant before, but some part of her felt…strangely unhappy that that… _ghost_ had used her power without permission to set this up.

Arthur blinked, looking around at the room and frowning.

“You didn’t decide to have a Halloween prank?” he asked, looking at her with the clear expectation that she’d admit to it.

“Nope,” Merlin said, “But…I’ll admit that was pretty good, if not rude to take my power to make it. I would like to check on the outside.”

Merlin headed out, looking at the real building as well as using her Clairvoyance to be sure.

No one.

The house sat empty and cold, the old man who had loved it was long dead, looking at a sign she’d missed earlier, a friend of the family used it to grow pumpkins.

It explained the barrier. Or rather the drain. 

Rude wasn't even the beginning!

“You didn’t tell me,” Merlin said, sensing Arthur's approach. 

She wasn't annoyed with him, but she'd have liked the heads up.

“I…thought you knew,” Arthur said, coming up behind her. “They smelled…off. Not terrible but…windy…I guess is the word. But…they didn’t seem like bad people, and… But I wasn’t completely sure. Not until the dance and…I followed my instinct.”

“I didn’t realize that soul’s were the base of the emotions she’d been picking up. I guess I should have realized that something was off during the dance, but…well…I was having too much fun. Those emotions…joy…relief…a soothed missing of someone…those were what I was thinking off, so it was a storm of positive emotions,”

That led to a disturbing question about what she was eating that Merlin was not going to consider ever.

So she opted to tease Arthur.

“I suppose you were having too much fun dancing with the most beautiful mage to think of it,” she smiled.

Arthur blushed, looking away and rubbing his neck with one hand. 

“…that’s…not too far off…”

“What-“

Slowly, as the moon cast a silver glow around them both, Arthur hugged Merlin, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“They were just happy to see their family again, and couldn’t do it without you. I was starting to have a feeling that it was that power you lost, but they seemed so happy, and so did you. Besides…we never got to dance together before that. I guess I didn’t see any harm in it."

Merlin smiled, leaning into his touch. The only touch like this that didn’t make some part of his skin crawl in some long forgotten instinct.

Selfishness...from _Arthur_. ...She supposed she could forgive it.

They stood like that, for a moment, Merlin, again, enjoying the sense of her presence, his warm affection and...the soft...glow in her own chest that answered.

 _Her_ emotion. 

“It’s a nice thought, don’t you think?” Merlin asked finally. “Reunions with lost loved ones. A place that welcomes us back…ah having emotions is making me sentimental, my dragon.”

She raised her hand dramatically to her forehead.

Arthur just laughed.

“There’s nothing wrong with that…”

“There’s nothing wrong with following your instincts either. Maybe if we’d listened to them before…”

Maybe things would have played out different.

Or maybe she needed to let go of the ghosts of the past herself.

“…Merlin…do you trust me?”

“Always, my king.”

“…I think we should stop looking for the knights.”

“What?!”

Arthur raised his hands, clearly startled at her surprise.

“I don’t mean give up, but…maybe we need to find Camelot…find our home…before we seek them out. Maybe…like with these ghosts…maybe we need a place to come home to.”

It was a big change, and one that he no logic behind it. And Merlin was only slowly getting used to feeling anything.

But…

She’d thought it herself.

Merlin trusted Arthur. Emotion or no., and…maybe it was smile on the girl’s face, or her toast that places she love welcome her back. And there had only been one place she had truly loved.

Maybe they were ghosts too. Memories of a past in a present that didn’t need them. But…even ghosts were allowed joy it seemed. And Arthur had suffered long enough.

…Maybe all of them had.

“…It’s worth a try,” Merlin said, smiling. “And if it doesn’t work…well…we’ll need to try another plan I’m working on…”

“Merlin…”

“Now now, this isn’t the time for previews,” Merlin smiled. “But…while emotions aren’t something I understand, any more than a ‘feeling’ something is wrong or right…I would very much like to see Camelot again. I’ve…missed it…I think the emotion is.”

Slowly, they broke from the embrace, she was smiling, while Arthur was still blushing a little.

Arthur paused, looking up at the moon, as did Merlin, as it rose further over the pumpkin patch, allowing a frosty glow over everything, like a ghost itself.

“Let’s take a walk,” Arthur said, smiling at Merlin. “Let the family have their time together. And maybe go back when the music starts again?”

He held out his hand to her.

Merlin smiled up at the moon.

“Then we look for our own family,” Merlin agreed, slowly taking his hand, “And the hope to welcome them back to something like this… I’d like to dance again…when we see them all.”

Arthur didn’t respond, but his grip didn’t waver. Even as they walked. Even as Merlin gave the ghosts the power to continue their joy in the physical world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!


	8. Jingle Bells and Horse's Skulls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Christmas Party.

When Hakuno and Gilgamesh had managed to cross the boundaries of dimensions to see Arthur and Merlin she hadn’t known what to expect. Other than maybe some time to work on a few mystic codes for gifts, catch up with Merlin and Arthur, and pretend that Gilgamesh hadn’t suddenly wanted to go because he was annoyed that Enkidu had fallen for Christmas in Japan and was spending it with Shamhat and wanted to drink and complain to Arthur.

While the last Christmas had just been her and Gilgamesh, when things had been starting to get hairy with another Grail War, she'd...really enjoyed the day and the fun with Gilgamesh as they'd just finally started to be a...an actual couple, this was a different year, and maybe it would be fun to try something else.

A rhyming battle with a horse’s skull hadn’t been high on her list of likely things to have to worry about.

Things had started out fairly normally. Arthur and Merlin were joined, thankfully by…his Mordred and Bedivere. Gilgamesh had refused to accept that the place Arthur had been planning for them would be ‘worthy of him’ so he’d managed to arrange some ungodly expensive hotel for all of them.

At the same time, having a whole floor and a professional kitchen had helped Arthur as he cooked, so there was that, and the man was very much cooking. He’d been working all week making new dishes, appetizers, fancy looking deserts that were decorated to look like logs, and lots of meats.

Apparently, in Europe, fried chicken wasn’t a Christmas food. The holiday wasn’t for lovers either, which was giving Gilgamesh a smug look. Even those who didn’t go to the religious ceremony saw it as a time for family and friends usually.

Gilgamesh was even smugger.

So much that he was generous enough to summon enough food to feed two dragons.

Or rather, provide enough ingredients to feed two dragons. Arthur was cooking, which honestly didn’t seem to bother Arthur much, and Hakuno was willing to help. Merlin might have also, but Mordred seemed happy to distract her with decorating.

Which Merlin was proving very…enthusiastic about decorating. Or rather, she was enthusiastic about Christmas. Somehow, through sheer force of will, she’d switched her normal springtime growth that sprouted at her feet to winter things. Holly and evergreen and winter roses bloomed around her, making the air smell like some kind of winter forest. And she’d managed to put up shining garlands everywhere that sparkled with multicolored lights along with the tree. She’d even put some holly in her hair. 

It wasn’t as much of a sight as Gilgamesh wearing that hideous reindeer sweater that she’d bought for him as a joke on Enkidu’s prompting with all the pride of a great king, but it was a sight.

It was also a little weird. Even after one year, Hakuno had gotten used to the lights, the smell of fried chicken and the strawberry cake. Even though she knew Arthur’s traditions had seniority over hers, she couldn’t help but feel somewhat…out of place she guessed. Like singing Jingle Bells while they were all singing some ancient Latin song about the birth of Christ. Her dinky little modern tradition started a year ago felt silly compared to this.

Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing too.

Gilgamesh was lounging around on the sofa in his sweater, drinking something that was probably alcoholic out of a Christmas mug that Arthur had given him, but somehow still managing to look like he was in some ancient picture. Or he would if he wasn’t giving her that bored, impatient look he got when he was waiting for her to come join him. (Which he’d fuss about and make sure she didn’t leave).

Merlin and Mordred were finished decorating, and were talking quietly as Merlin finished a gingerbread house (Mordred tended to get impatient and ruin his, or eat the candy). Hakuno was still getting used to the fact that there WAS a male Mordred, and he looked almost exactly like his father.

Bedivere had vanished, claiming the need to go out for something, but Hakuno had seen a significant look between him and Arthur, so she assumed it was a present of some kind.

Her gifts for everyone were waiting under the tree, along with a very obvious one wrapped in gold cloth (Hakuno really hoped Gil wasn’t going to demand Arthur fight him for his gift).

So, she’d decided to help Arthur cook. While she was pretty sure he could have done it alone, Hakuno didn’t idle well, and thankfully Arthur knew it, and even suggested she make one of those strawberry cakes. He’d never had one, and it…did make her feel better to have something familiar. As stupid as it was.

Though conversation was a little stilted. Arthur and Hakuno were two people who were able to work together in a comfortable silence, but sometimes she was a little shocked by how different he was to Ozy and Gilgamesh and the different kings she’d known.

At least she could learn a little about the traditions she was in. In Japan, it was more ‘this is a religious time for some people, but Christmas is for lovers. Here…well…”

“Gil said that this used to be a twelve day feast. Why did they change it?” Hakuno asked, frowning at the large very not fried stuffed goose that Arthur was taking out of the oven. While she was helping, he seemed to like to have his hands on everything.

“It did,” Arthur nodded, smiling a little at the memory. “I’m not entirely sure, honestly. Maybe when the nation changed to the Church of England. Merlin mentioned something about it, but while tonight was a quieter feast the rest of the twelve days were…very loud. Gilgamesh probably would have liked it.”

A party than went on for nearly two weeks? The only thing Gilgamesh wouldn’t like was that he wasn’t the main reason for it’s existing.

“The traditions were a little different too,” Arthur continued, but even as he was smiling, there was something sad to his eyes, as if he was missing the festivals he’d known. “We didn’t have the tree or that sweet bread house for one thing. And there are less dances than we had. Though…I’m a little glad that some of them seem to mostly be gone…”

There was a knock at the door to the hotel, and Arthur paused, frowning.

“Hakuno, Gilgamesh…did you invite anyone…?” He asked, but Hakuno shook her head.

“Dragon Knight, there is only you, your followers, and the Magus of Flowers which I care to know in this world, and those who could follow would not dare without my permission,” Gilgamesh said, frowning. “Is it not merely your retainer?”

“Bedivere wouldn’t knock,” Arthur said softly, “Merlin, I-“

He stopped, frowning as he looked at where the magus had been a few moments ago, but when Hakuno turned around she couldn’t see her or Mordred.

Arthur stopped, closed his eyes for a moment.

“Well, Hakuno,” he said, his voice more a strange mix between frustrated and almost amused and embarrassed. “I think you’re about to see an old tradition.”

Arthur seemed to take a breath for a moment, and opened the door to the hotel room. Technically, there wasn’t supposed to be a way up there without taking the private elevator, and the door only lead to a hallway where the other room, which was being occupied by Gilgamesh and Hakuno, but the path between the two rooms was currently blocked by…the strangest thing Hakuno had seen.

It was a horse’s skull. Carefully cleaned up and decorated in festive looking red and green ribbons, and wreath of winter flowers around it’s head and where a white cloak was obscuring whoever was wearing the skull, where the eyes should have been two green glass ornaments had been placed so that it almost seemed to be staring out at them. The rest of the body was completely hidden in a shimmering white cloak and sheet, but Hakuno could see the winter flowers blooming around it to tell her just who was under it.

It was the most…festive macabre looking thing she’d ever seen.

Besides the…thing…with a grin on his face was Mordred.

“I have come, good friends!” Merlin’s lovely, high voice sang out, and as she heard it, Hakuno felt the power of it trying, and failing, to take hold of her, “I have come, good friends, to ask you leave to sing! If I don’t have permission, than let me know in song! Let me know in song, how we must face this bare evening.”

What was…

Gilgamesh had gotten up, moving forwards with a large grin on his face.

“Oh…” he said quietly.

“Oh, Mari Lwyd,” Hakuno jumped at the sound of Arthur’s voice. It was somehow…like Elizabeth’s, strong but utterly tone deaf. “I have no food upon my table. I have neither gold nor drink though I would give if I was able!”

What...

“Gil?” Hakuno hissed.

“Peace, Hakuno, and enjoy the pageantry,” Gilgamesh grinned. “I shall not interfere, yet, though perhaps I shall aid one of the other should it be interesting.”

“Dear friend, I smell a goose and wine though your table might be bare,” Merlin sang in return, “perhaps my song would bring a sheen of cheer and comfort there!”

“Why did you have to sing in English?” Hakuno heard Arthur hiss to Merlin.

The horse skull giggled.

“We can’t have our guests out of the loop, can we? You’re running out of time, my king…” Merlin was probably grinning from the sound of it.

“…Oh, Mari Lwyd I’d have you stay, but that goose is not enough,” Arthur sang quickly. “I’ve to open a chest with no lid or door, and it’s proving very tough.”

He winced at the end of that line, clearly knowing that it was…very bad.

“To open an egg, you must crack it, for food enough for all, and to celebrate the occasion, I will sing inside your hall!”

“Your aid, I know, is welcome, but that eggs are very small, what’s more I have no gift to give but a tiny, ragged shawl.”

“A ragged shawl makes poor heat as the year comes to its end,” Merlin replied. “So I shall sing a song and feast while I with my hands do mend!”

Arthur was losing. That much was obvious just because he seemed to be grasping at straws for why Merlin couldn’t come in, while Merlin wasn’t having too much trouble coming up with rhymes that allowed her in. She had a good feeling that the problem was the rhyming, but…why was he trying?

‘What _is_ this?” Hakuno hissed to Gilgamesh. “I know that Merlin’s trying to make Arthur let her in, but why…”

Gilgamesh was still grinning.

“You shall see.”

Arthur was hesitating, but before he could answer again, another voice called in, and the elevator door opened.

“Mari Lwyd you know in truth that gifts cannot be mended,” Bedivere didn’t miss a beat. He’d managed stand there for about two seconds before speaking. “Your pride won’t accept such a tattered gift, or your reputation is ended.”

Arthur sent the knight a grateful look, and surprisingly Merlin was hesitating now. Actually…and insult to pride if this ‘Mari Lwyd’ was a goddess…no wonder Merlin was deciding where to go from there.

“A poor gift from one who can provide no more,” Gilgamesh suddenly interjected, “Should be accepted and with pride, from those who pass this door!”

The skull turned towards him and bowed, even as both Arthur and Bedivere gave him an exasperated look. Gilgamesh grinned at them.

“Is it not tradition for the Mari Lwyd to actually enter the house?” Gilgamesh asked.

Arthur turned to face Gilgamesh to answer, but the moment, he wasn’t watching, Merlin took her chance.

“You lose!” Merlin’s sing song voice was the only warning any of them got because she’d suddenly moved. “Hakuno, help me in!”

“Hakuno, don’t-“

Arthur tried to grab her as Merlin made a dash past him into the room, but even he wasn’t fast enough as she managed to touch off with magic and slip past him, laughing as she did so, with Mordred right behind her as she launched herself at Hakuno, who managed to grab the thing coming towards her, step back, and accidentally help pull the costumed Merlin in by accident.

The head fell off just a second, showing the laughing Merlin, but she managed it on as Mordred shut the door quickly.

“Merlin, you can’t-“

“Mari Lwyd can do what she likes!” Merlin laughed. “I’m in. You know the rules.”

Arthur just sighed.

“You’re both invited in the first place.”

“Yeah, but it’s better when you win it,” Mordred said, grinning.

He really was thinking like a dragon.

“Besides, Mari Lwyd brings good luck,” Merlin laughed, and caused the skull to vanish, even though she was still wearing the grey white robes. “And I always wanted to try being Mari. I’m looking forwards to the ‘singing Christmas carols’ bit too.”

Right. Merlin’s voice. A succubus’s song was about as potent as a siren’s, capable of luring and enchanting. It was a good weapon, but not really something you could do at parties.

“It was fun to see,” Hakuno offered.

“That’s good, because I _think_ since you technically are the one who let me in, you get the best luck.”

“Is that all that happens?” Hakuno looked from Arthur to Bedivere to Merlin. “You seemed so worried…”

Arthur actually flushed slightly, looking away.

“I hate losing this game…” he muttered as Merlin laughed.

“I’m suppose to chase you around a bit for fun and drink a lot of beer, but I’ll keep that part down,” Merlin said, grinning. “Besides, Arthur, you seemed to miss some of the things from home, but this was something I could remake for you.”

Arthur laughed a little.

“Was I that obvious?” he asked.

Merlin, Bedivere and Mordred all nodded.

“I didn’t guess?” Hakuno offered.

“Well at least I didn’t stress you two,” Arthur said, “But…thank you…all of you. It was fun to do it again, but next you…I want to pick the language. English can’t rhyme.”

He smiled, closing his eyes.

“You may continue such foolishness!” Gilgamesh grinned. “I would that all the traditions around this Christmas be so amusing!”

“Where did this even come from?” Hakuno asked, though she couldn’t help but smile a little.

Merlin and Arthur looked at one another, shrugging.

“Probably some old festival,” Bedivere said. “Before the island was Christian, there were plenty of winter feasts, and once converted, people wanted to bring their old traditions with them. No one saw the harm in it, so the traditions held on and mingled with new ones. At least that’s my guess.”

“Speaking of traditions old and new, did you get it, Bedivere?” Arthur asked.

Bedivere held up a large bag that Hakuno hadn’t noticed he was holding before, and showing a familiar colored box inside.

She couldn’t help but laugh a little.

‘Fried chicken,” she laughed.

“You both looked a little disappointed you wouldn’t be having it,” Arthur smiled.

“I was not _disappointed,_ Dragon,” Gilgamesh crossed his arms, scowling at Arthur. “I merely pointed out its absence, and Hakuno’s enjoyment of it the year before.”

“Of course it was,” Arthur said. “Thank you, Bedivere and…”

A smile that had something hiding behind it grew on the knight’s face as he nodded.

“Of course, Your Majesty,”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Alright, everyone Mari Lwyd has already shown her generosity!” Merlin called from where she’d sneaked into the kitchen.

Hakuno followed the others a little cautiously to see that Merlin had finished laying everything out, mostly by magic obviously, leaving room for the fried chicken, though she noticed that in Arthur’s place and Mordred’s, two winter coats, one in a family blue and the other in brilliant red were waiting as well.

Mordred’s face lit up as he suddenly turned around, making a dash for the room living room where the tree was. Probably to find the gifts for Merlin and his father.

  
Arthur more carefully lifted his from his chair.

“It’s a pretty good defense too,” Merlin smiled.

“You think of everything,” Arthur said softly. “I have something for you too, but I’ll give it after dinner.”

“I’m looking forwards to it.”

It seemed like Christmas being for family and friends also left room for lovers as well. Somehow…she felt better. Even better than last Christmas, when it had just been her and Gilgamesh and learning to do something fun for once that wasn’t a quick snatch of joy before another battle.

She’d been looking at the season wrong.

As they ate, and Mordred brought out his gifts for Merlin and Arthur (a flowered hairpin and new armored grieves respectively), Hakuno found herself sort of sinking into the new and old foods, and traditions.

Singing horse skulls, strawberry cake, ancient carols and Jingle Bells, there was a place for it all. 

As dinner wound to a close, and Bedivere was ushering Mordred to help clear the table, leaving Arthur and Merlin to talk quietly by the tree, Hakuno stepped outside. Naturally the hotel room had a balcony that overlooked the city, all covered with snow that was still falling from the sky. Even from a distance she could see the lights, and what looked like a skating rink. Maybe they’d go the next day…

Hakuno hovered in the doorway, looking out at the city, when she felt a familiar presence looming behind her.

“It’s pretty,” Hakuno said.

“As are all things of this nature,” Gilgamesh said, looking out and then in. “Humans create traditions, sometimes from necessity, but often from foolishness, but it is well to see when those traditions grow to fit those who enjoy them, rather than tying those who practice to the past. This holiday, though I know not its god, acts as a link between ancient and modern in a way that is…unique, as do the other festivals celebrated on this tide, so that they come together to create something truly human.”

“I guess it does,” Hakuno said. “Want to come back to do it again next year? I’ll make a strawberry cake this time.”

“Hmph, as my friend and Shamhat shall likely desire whatever they are doing again I shall concede to your desires.”

Though guessing by the smile on his face, he would enjoy it.

Singing started from the inside, with Merlin’s high clear voice, Bedivere’s more calm and Mordred’s more excited and Arthur’s no long tone deaf at all seemed to be calling them to join.

Hakuno turned to go, but Gilgamesh didn’t move from blocking the door. He was grinning down at her.

“Mongrel you have neglected a certain tradition that I wish to uphold. One we have conceded to those demands, I shall provide some wassail for these fools.”

Hakuno frowned but looked up.

Merlin had, some time in the evening, placed mistletoe on the entrance. It sparkled slightly with magic, clearly promising something for those who kissed under the branches. She was probably planning something for Arthur but…

Well, tradition was tradition.

And Hakuno was enjoying learning all kinds of new ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Mari Lwyd is a totally real Welsh tradition where you would engage in a battle of rhyme and wit with the Mari Lwyd, though most people just let it in since it was supposed to be good luck. I've tried to replicate things as well as possible, but unfortunately, this was mostly through research and videos. Hope you enjoyed!


	9. A Peaceful Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who'd have thought that Merlin was generous by nature?

It was not a date. Well, it _was_ a date, but it wasn’t as if she hadn’t had ‘dates’ before. Gilgamesh’s Caster aspect had of course taken her on a ride down the Euphrates, but somehow…this was more…well…maybe just what she’d expect from a…’date’ date…

And this wasn’t even making sense in her own head.

After all the book issues, Ritsuka had been expecting some relaxation, or maybe even something to read herself, but apparently Merlin had had other plans.

The second she’d fallen asleep the incubus had appeared to her in his traditional field of flowers.

“Did you know that traditionally in the West, both men and women give their thank you and gifts on the same day?” he asked, his usual smile in place.

“But you…gave me your…”

Merlin smiled, shaking his head.

“That was just a little thank you. I did tell you it had no monetary value whatsoever, but this is a little different. I would have done it immediately, but seeking out working timelines can be a bit difficult, even using Chaldea. Never the less, I’ve managed to make a connection!”

“Does this involve…magic Chloroform again?” Ritsuka asked.

Merlin didn’t even flinch at that memory.

“Nope, it’s part of my gift, I don’t like lucid dreams, but this sort of needs it! Well, I’ll see you on the other side!”

And with that cheerful greeting, he’d vanished, and Ritsuka had fallen backwards, plummeting into darkness until…

Light pierced her closed eyes.

Ritsuka jerked a little, forcing her head up to see…

A street?

In the bright sunlight, a small, European looking row of shops and houses spread out before her, all of them clean and glittering in the early spring sun. There weren’t any real flowers out yet, but there was a wetness in the air that hinted spring. People were milling around too. Actual normal people walking around, looking at windows, eating…like nothing had happened.

Ritsuka wrapped her arms around herself only to find that she wasn’t wearing that Chaldea Uniform. It was something she’d used to have before…well…everything. A favored brown coat with a white sweater she’d always loved, with a skirt and leggings, and a comfortable favored pair of boots.

She’d left this that day she’d gone to Chaldea. She’d assumed once the contract was fulfilled she’d come back for them, but…

Leaning down, she touched them, feeling the leather like she remembered and even a few cracks and scuffs.

“Ok, Merlin what do you-“

“Welcome to Carmanthen!” A cheerful voice called out, and Rituska started up to see Merlin walking towards her.

Or well…Merlin in modern clothing.

His hair had somehow managed to be tamed into a lose braid that was hanging over one shoulder, and he’d switched out his robes for some slacks, a tan sweater and what looked like a pink colored shirt.

“How did you know about my clothing?” Ritsuka asked, not quite sure she wanted to know that answer.

“Oh, I didn’t. That was constructed from your own memories of what you’d like to wear out,” Merlin smiled. “Anyways, while you might be tempted to write this off as one of my illusions, this is nothing of the kind. This is a dream of another time, or rather of another world. However, this will only last a night, so let’s make the best of it!”

He didn’t give her much time to respond, since he’d already taken her arm in his and led her towards the shops, gently, with enough space to move, but also insistent as he guided her down the walkway, and Ritsuka got a good look at the sign hanging above them.

_Merlin’s Walk._

Ritsuka blinked at him.

“Are you sure this isn’t just some dream you made up?” she asked.

Merlin laughed.

“Of course not,” he said. “No, there’s a great deal of this town named for me because quite simply, it’s where I was born. So of course they’d monetize me. It seemed only fair to come back here to as a treat though.”

Merlin having a hometown…a place he was born…that seemed…strange. Though of course that was stupid. Merlin was born somewhere. It just…was strange to think of him as a little kid. But he seemed happy, and…well…there was no reason not to enjoy herself…feel the sun on her face and…look at the people…

The…living…not incinerated…not scavenging for anything left just…normal people. There were families with small children, older kids hanging out with their friends, couples walking and talking softly, and plenty of normal shoppers just there and going about their lives.

Just to be completely sure, Ritsuka glanced at some of the smaller signs, advertising sales and one mentioning ‘please shut door quickly and don’t pet the cat, she’s a jerk’.

It was real.

Everything was real.

Ritsuka might have gotten a little carried away at that point, grabbing Merlin’s arm herself and tugging him into one of the stores. He went without any real resistance until he was coming with her, and just shouting a ‘normal’ greeting, she threw herself into looking for things. They were all there. Clothing, chocolates, just fun little souvenirs. Everything she’d expect from a normal town before the world died. She even had the chance to go through a few outfits, looking and then discarding once the saw the price tag and had reached for her purse to find that, construct of a dream or not, money wasn’t going to appear for her.

That didn’t stop her though. Merlin didn’t seem to mind as she abused the dressing room trying out different outfits, looked through the fancy looking crystal shop, and even sort of indulged herself in the make-up shop (Gawain would be proud). Maybe she didn’t need those things, and they’d never help her against the next lost belt, but…

This was a moment in peaceful timeline, and she could pretend, just for a bit that this was her world.

“It’s too bad I can’t take these with me,” Ritsuka said, looking at a small figurine of a wizard in starry robes while comparing it to Merlin. “I’d love to be able to keep this.”

Merlin grinned.

“Even when you can see the real thing every day?”

“Especially when I can see the real thing,” Ritsuka grinned. “I want to be able to compare. Why do they always show you as an old man anyways?”

Merlin shrugged.

“As I am clearly a wise sage, such wisdom must be something gained through experience, right?” He was smiling, but something about it seemed…strange. “Besides, I suppose from a distance with white hair, that is what I would be thought to be.”

There were times when Merlin’s smile felt wrong, like a parody of the emotion that he was trying to show. While she knew, from Merlin’s own mouth that he didn’t really feel anything, and everything he showed was just a reflection of what he’d already eaten and burned…Ritsuka had to wonder, were there things that were real? Or that those emotions brought out?

They weren’t really questions she could ask though. The Magus of Flowers was always tight lipped about himself, offering information only as a sort of payment. Even if she did try, he’d just change the subject. Asking how people thought he was old was probably as far as it went.

“While you were looking I managed to pop over to ‘Mystic Grounds’ and get some coffee,” Merlin said, holding up two cups “Yours is Prince of Enchanters and mine is Black Magic. It’s running late, so I got decaffeinated. That’s what works, isn’t it?”

He looked so excited about it.

“Merlin…you can’t taste…”

And she was pretty sure caffeine wasn’t going to affect either of them.

“I like the smell,” he said. “This is strong, and I can assume that the taste isn’t too different. Besides, I have some money left over.

"left…over” Ritsuka repeated, squinting. “What are you…”

“Now now, don’t worry! All that matters is that MagiMari’s fans have been really generous this year, and it’s a shame not to spend money that was meant to be spent on good company!”

She had no idea how the Magus had managed to bring money over, but then again this was his doing, and well…it was just coffee. It was sort of a return for the chocolate she supposed. Also, it was…sort of nice to see something that he seemed to actually like.

It was hard not to want to banter and have fun along with him, and even if that was his actual plan….

“It’s been nice…to see a world like this,” Ritsuka said, taking a sip of her coffee, which tasted strongly of vanilla.

“There are many timelines,” Merlin said, smiling at the slowly setting sun. “I can’t always see them, but it’s good to know they’re there. Those Lostbelts are failed timelines, but there are likely ones where the people you’ve met…they’re alive and well. Perhaps another solution was found, or maybe the problem never happened. But it’s a happy thought to know that, like this peaceful world…there are others. But that’s no reason not to fight for ours.”

Ritsuka looked over at him, smiling as he looked at something far too distant for her to see, and for a moment, she was able to see the connection between the stories about a wise sage and the man before her.

“Thank you…” Ritsuka said. “I…I think I really needed this dream.”

Merlin smiled.

“That’s what dreams are for,” he said “They give humans the strength to endure their trials and hope for the future. It’s only when those dreams get too impossible that there’s trouble, but a peaceful life…while it’s not that interesting for me, it’s not a bad wish.”

And it seemed that was his gift. To show her that there was still hope, somehow, in some place, and… it was somehow like that puppet. The story of Beasts...who had somehow loved to watch humans, even in their quiet, dull peaceful lives... An enemy of humanity, who had decided to love them instead.

“You know, you’re making me think that they didn’t name so much for you just because of the money,” Ritsuka said, crossing her arms and grinning. “I think they’re proud of you.”

Merlin grinned, but this time something…strange…flashed in his eyes. Almost like surprise.

But he recovered quickly.

“Of course,” he said. “After all, I’m the must powerful mage ever born, and make all others burn with envy!”

He was deflecting. But that one moment was enough. If he was going to make her feel better, that she was going to try to understand and make him feel better too! And…maybe the world still needed mysteries, if only to try to slowly unravel it.

And Ritsuka had a long time between missions.

But there wasn’t much time to say more, as Merlin sighed a little.

“We’re reaching the end of the dream, Ritsuka,” he said. “Your sleep cycle’s about up, and I don’t want to be here when that happens. I’ll be stuck all day.”

He was smiling, but something about it wasn’t reaching his eyes this time. Or…maybe she was seeing it better?

“…Thank you…Merlin,” Rituska said. “I wasn’t sure what to expect, but this…this was really fun.”

“I’m sure it’ll be more fun when you wake up.”

“What are you-“

With a smile Merlin put a finger to his lips, and the air shimmered as an illusion dropped, just for a second, and Ritsuka’s heart stopped.

Behind him, floating in a small trail were packages, held up by a very familiar pink magic in what was practically a _cloud_. Some long and flat, while others seemed small, but all of them were wrapped up, carefully packed and…looked like things that Ritsuka had been looking at.

“W-what!” Ritsuka gasped out

“Now now, I said I was getting some good money as MagiMari, and money exists to be spent! Hope you enjoy!”

The dream ended, one second, Ritsuka was standing with a coffee facing Merlin and his…army of gifts when suddenly…

“Fou fou!” a familiar cry woke her as the familiar jumped onto her chest, crying loudly.

“Sh, I’m fine, Fou. It was just Merlin…I think…”

“Foou.”

“He’s not that bad,”

“Fou.”

“I refuse to have an argument with you. I’m not even sure if you can understand me fully.”

“Fou fou!”

Ritsuka sighed, sat up and…blinked as small, wrapped package slipped from where she was sleeping almost to the ground. On instinct, she caught it, blinking at the unfamiliar, but very pretty handwriting of a note that was attached to it.

_The rest of the gifts will arrive tomorrow._

And nothing was going to stop him.

But as Ritsuka unwrapped the little box and stared down at the small, smiling wizard in his stupid blue starry robes before placing it on her bedside. She'd have to ask him about the starry robes. And maybe other things. 

There was a long time before they found the next Lostbelt...and somehow, she could face that better now.

“Foou.”

“It’s a souvenir,” Ritsuka said.

She’d have to put that Fou puppet next to her. To remind her of the Tale of Beasts…and to believe that one day…she’d go back to a peaceful Carmarthen and drink coffee with a Beast who loved humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have no idea if this is shipping or preshipping or what, but it was fun to write. 
> 
> Also, I like the idea of Ritsuka having a lot of guilt over the Lostbelts, and having to find ways to deal with it.


	10. Eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A question is finally asked

Gilgamesh disliked the warm air of this place. While heat was fine, and in truth he preferred it to the darkness and cold that often plagued him in this upper regions, this heat was nothing like that of Uruk, which could be abated in the cool of the evening. It remained, seething through the air and hanging as a cloud over all.

It was not a place he would have lingered were it not for the events of this night.

Hakuno was beside him, having touched down on the Vimana some distance from the city, and he had carried her through a marsh until it wasn’t advantageous anymore.

“Are you going to tell me why we’re in New Orleans?” Hakuno asked.

“You shall see in time, Hakuno,” Gilgamesh smirked.

All had already been decided after all, there was merely one unknown, and Hakuno…well she would make the most obvious choice.

Of course she would. There was no other possible choice, not really.

Gilgamesh nodded to himself as they paused at the establishment of his choice.

There was little to be said for the exterior of the building. It was a small, squat thing, only two stories of mere brick. However, the ornamentation, a delicate, wrought iron balcony, door and windows gave it some grace.

This would have to do.

While Gilgamesh preferred those new modern designs, though hideous, for their sheer hilarity, Hakuno’s tastes must be considered.

And from the shine in her eyes as she gazed on the building, lit up in the darkness, Gilgamesh had, as expected, chosen rightly.

“This is your big surprise for my chocolate?” Hakuno asked. “Do they accept last minute things? Even with you…”

Gilgamesh chuckled to himself.

“Come, Hakuno, we have our reservations,” he said, stepping forward with little fear.

For all would be as he had ordered it.

The interior of the restaurant was far superior, with a white interior, golden decorations and a glow of decadence of an older time that Gilgamesh found that he liked. He liked it far better, when stating the name of Gilgamesh ‘Lugal’ to the a servant who seemed well dressed enough, he and Hakuno were lead to another, far superior room. It was smaller than the first but far more pleasant, with walls with dark wallpapering, showcasing flowing designs that appeared to be a faint hint of gold. That with the low hanging chandelier made the small table set for two beside a blessedly empty but richly carved fireplace look inviting for such a place.

Two large windows looked out on the balcony, and Gilgamesh noted quickly that there would be room enough for them to stand upon it.

Perfect. While he despised the night air, there were things that must be done in their fitting time and place.

“…This looks amazing,” Hakuno said they were sat down.

The waiter was impertinent, introducing himself as modern servants were want to do, but Gilgamesh permitted it, noting the smile on Hakuno’s face as she took in all before her.

“Well, you’ve paid me back. Everything here looks amazing,” she said. “And different.”

“I told you we would conquer the stars, did I not?” Gilgamesh said. “What good would the same sight be?”

Hakuno laughed.

“That’s true. I’m glad though. And that sometimes their even new for you too.”

Gilgamesh scowled and turned away.

Truly she was in the mood to call his embrace.

It was likely this…Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers…

Well, he would move as plans. Hopefully he would receive his favorable answer.

…No. He _would_ receive a favorable answer.

The meal droned by. While the food was possible, a collection of fish and other light delicacies from the region, it held no taste for him. Yet…that was not the fault of the chef and he could not call them to answer for a bland meal.

It was a peculiar thing.

Finally, at long last, the desert was prepared.

While Gilgamesh supped on a vintage red wine that he wished to not finish so that he could properly savor the texture and flavor once this affair was over, Hakuno was offered her desert.

A delicate blend of marinated strawberries, vintage wines, (Hakuno had little trouble eating alcohol but disliked the sensation of drink) and with a blend of ice cream with ingredients from far off lands, served in crystal and flaked in gold.

But that which was must valuable resided elsewhere. Though the fools had not understood it.

“Come, Hakuno, stand on the balcony with me.”

Hakuno gave him a strange look, one of suspicion mixed with unsureity, but she did as she was bade, as Gilgamesh opened the door, breathing in the humid air that did nothing to wake his senses.

“Was Uruk like this?” Hakuno asked.

“Of course not,” Gilgamesh said, broken from his thoughts but the very foolishness of the question. “You know yourself there was nothing in common between this vile heat and that of Uruk! In Uruk I would have taken you down the river in my own pleasure boat, to go where we would! Do not compare such things, Hakuno!”

Hakuno grinned at him.

“I know, you just looked a little weird. I thought it might distract you.”

Gilgamesh scowled, looking away, and ignoring a strange warmth in his chest. He would not feel such at this time.

Hakuno, for her part, and turned from him, facing the glow of the city, and looking to the sky.

“I wish we could see the milky way from here, but it’s all clouded over” she said, “But…that glow…it’s a lot like that city…you know the one I based my valentine off of? Maybe it’s just the humidity, but they almost seem to glow…”

Gilgamesh opened his mouth to tell her that she should rejoice, for she was his, and would always be his, and as such needed only to show the token of proof of that which was already written in stone, but…his mouth would not form the words. 

All that came out was a strange strangled “hm” and grunt.

“Thank you by the way, this is…amazing. Probably better than my chocolate. Though I’ll bet if I tell Rin about it, she’ll probably faint.”

“Hmph,” Gilgamesh grunted when he had meant to tell her that her friend would be more shocked at his pronouncement.

Hakuno gave Gilgamesh that…flat look she gained when she was unsure how to respond to something so foolish it defied words. She gazed at _him_ with those eyes.

“Gil, if you want to give me something, this is the time.”

Gilgamesh scowled at her, but debased himself.

“I will kneel before you only once. You who have caused me to bow twice, who I consider my equal and companion before Heaven and Earth,” Gilgamesh had seen the ‘television’ where the fool would kneel before his lady before the sight of the masses, but he would not do s. However…in this place…where none could see and the glow of a city lit the world before them… Gilgamesh permitted himself to bend to one knee.

And, from his own clothing, he produced the other part of the gift. A smooth stone of lapis lazili, framed by star sapphires like the heavens above gleamed in a golden setting. A wedding band fit for the Queen of Uruk. And one those fools had tried to persuade him away from with talk of diamonds…

“I have taken many wives, Hakuno, and I would not ask such a ridiculous bargain of one who has challenged the deep beside me, and now conquers the stars. Though it be base formality, I shall declare my intent. As you have given your life to me, and I shall hold it as my companion for eternity, I shall offer you the same. The place at my left side, as my Queen, greater than all besides myself. Let us continue this journey until the very stars themselves die.”

The moment passed, and Gilgamesh felt a strangely lightheaded sensation creep over him, as though he had deeply binged of wine and now would feel those effects.

Hakuno’s hands had raised to her mouth, and her eyes, normally calm, had widened.

It seemed…odd…should she not have responded immediately?

Of…of course she was merely gathering herself. There was no other possibility.

None.

“Thank you,” Hakuno said softly, her hands falling away. “I…don’t know if I can really be your equal though.”

For a moment it felt as if something had dropped from the ground, and his vision…

“I’m not wise, or even really strong. I’ve only gotten this far because of you, and others, and luck. But…” Hakuno held up her head a strange light showing in her eyes as a smile wide and joyful…and lovely formed. “I thought you’d never ask. I wasn’t sure if you even really wanted it, but… YES! I will marry you, Gilgamesh!”

The stars above were veiled, but that was just as well. For the scene below, of the king fully embracing his bride for the first time would have been one to rival even their luster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, someone once asked how a proposal would go. It would go like this.


	11. Of Stars and Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Point of Connection
> 
> Arthur gives a return.

Arthur had had no idea what to get her. Japan had a tradition called white day where the recipient of a gift should give something white back to the giver. And in the West, it was just expected to exchange gifts the same day. However there were several problems.

The first was the simple fact that Merlin couldn’t taste, and he cooked for her all the time anyways, allowing her to at least taste his affection, so how did he make a meal special? The second was that Merlin always wore white, and more white was just going to be that. More white.

And what were flowers to a woman who made them grow as she walked?

Besides, he…didn’t want to be satisfied with just having had Merlin give him something, without really thinking she would get anything in return that was just as special as those chocolates she’d given him.

Valentine’s Day had, in reality, never really meant a lot to Arthur. Or rather, it was a day with nothing to do with him. Arthur had married Guinevere not out of love but out of duty, and a feast celebrating the loving marriage of a man and woman who couldn’t even sleep in the same room together felt like it was just insulting her.

Maybe it was no wander what had happened…

Maybe…

Maybe Merlin was right and he needed to not dwell on it.

It wasn’t easy not to. Particularly during a season for lovers.

Maybe that was why he wanted to have something special for Merlin. While he knew that she’d never expect anything…Valentine’s Day had never had anything to do with her either, and…well…things were different now.

So maybe that meant thinking outside the box a little.

There were always problems with that. Mostly escaping her Clairvoyance, though that was more the art of distraction. Merlin couldn’t see what had happened or would, and Cath Palug was good at keeping her busy.

But the other one…well…he hoped things would work.

Arthur stroked Llamrei’s nose as slipped the final thing in her bag and turned to the small room they were renting at the moment. Llamrei had returned to him by chance, clearly catching his scent. Though that meant they now needed to stay to the country on their hunt for the knights.

It was already getting dark, but Arthur’s plan needed that.

Well, it was time to start.

“Merlin!” Arthur called softly into the darkness.

The Magus must have been listening because she popped her head out in a moment.

“You know I’m not going to help you with Llamrei,” she said.

The horse snorted, but Merlin ignored it.

“That’s fine,” Arthur said quickly, “I just needed you to help me for a quick run.”

“What?”

“Llamrei needs…to be used to a heavier person. Right. So that I can fight her in armor again. Yes, armor!”

Even to himself it sounded stupid.

Merlin stared at him.

“Armor. At night?”

“….low visibility.”

Well, it was already terrible, and Merlin probably knew he was lying, if that amused look on her face was any indication. So why not look more stupid?

“This isn’t really necessary, you know,” Merlin said, looking at Llamrei without apprehension but without any real excitement to get on. “I’ve given my gift, but I never gave it to make you return my gift. It was…something like old times I suppose.”

Old times, when she’d given him gifts of magic and science and aid, but never asked for or wanted anything from him.

No.

“I know you weren’t expecting anything, but…will you still ride with me?” Arthur asked.

There were so many other things he wanted to say, but this would have to be it at the moment.

Merlin looked at the horse and him and nodded, smiling a little.

“Alright, but I meant it.”

“I know you did.”

Llamrei gave Arthur an annoyed look but rubbed her head against him before he mounted. It was…nice to be like this again. To see her again, even when she gave Merlin another annoyed look as the Magus accepted his hand to hop lightly on, wrapping her arms around his waist as if this was normal.

And once, it was.

And maybe…it would be again.

Arthur was even gladder of the darkness now, as he determinately kept his face from Merlin and shook the reigns.

Llamrei didn’t hesitate. A Fairy Horse from the Wild Hunt had her own powers, and one was that the earth hardly held her back. She sprung forwards, taking a few galloping seconds before, suddenly, she was in the air, bounding as if she was running, and tossing her hair once, as very suddenly, their little rented house, the yard and even the faint lights of a nearby town vanished into the darkness of the sky.

And then it was just moonlight reflecting off of scattered clouds that grew thicker and thicker until it felt like they were running on them.

Merlin didn’t move from her position, but he felt her head pull back, looking up at the stars before nestling against him.

“If this was my return gift, I have to say it’s…splendid,” Merlin said, her voice, though soft, was carried too him on the wind.

“It’s not. At least…not completely,” Arthur said, but was smiling none the less. “We’re going to stay like this for a while though.”

“…I missed this,” Merlin confessed. “The city lights tend to block out the stars, and while I can see everywhere…seeing it in person is preferable.”

Arthur wasn’t sure how long Llamrei had been running before the cold started in the air, and the stars abave started to become even more clear, and aside from the wind around them…it was silent.

Arthur wondered briefly, if this would be what flying was like. Were he a real dragon, one born with scales and wings, and all the other traits that the word brought to mind…would this have been normal for him. Or would he be carrying Merlin himself… with her looking up at the stars she’d been denied so long.

But…this was good too. Feeling her slight warmth against him, both of them human and not… similar existences, Merlin would call it.

He just hoped she liked the rest of his gift.

Llamrei suddenly started to descend, and Arthur could see the top of the old mountain that managed to peek over the clouds. On touching the ground, she stopped, tossing her head again, and glancing at Merlin with the clear intent that she was to get off as soon as possible.

Arthur sighed, slipping off himself and helping Merlin down as they took in their surroundings. The mountain’s peak stood looking over a sea of clouds that glowed faintly with the light of a thousand lives below them, but thanks to the clouds covering those lights, the stars gleamed over them, looking no different than they had a very long time ago, when he’d looked out at them from his room in Camelot.

Merlin however, wasn’t looking up, she was looking at the small fire that was cooking a pot for coffee besides two blankets that were all set up to ward off the cold, as Arthur took advantage of the moment to take the gift from Llamrei’s travel bag.

Merlin glanced up and smiled at him.

“So is this why Cath Palug suddenly started to try to beat me up?”

Arthur flushed.

“I had no idea he’d do that. I asked him to distract you a bit… I’m sorry…I just wanted it to be a surprise. And…”

“…It’s lovely.”

Merlin’s voice was a little softer, looking down at the fire and the blankets.

“It looks like Caer Goch’s ruins,” Merlin said softly, sitting down and looking up at the sky above them. “Remember that time we had to camp there? The stars…they look the same too, or close enough. The alignment is the same too…”

Arthur sat down himself, leaving Llamrei to graze on her own.

“It is good?”

Merlin grinned.

“Very, it means you need to take initiative and do your goal. At the same time, so many people doing their goal today has got to be obstructing others. What a tragedy.”

She said that last big with a good deal of false sorrow.

“I’ll have to remember to take initiative but not…too much initiative. At least it’s not what you told that one squire…what was his name?”

“Eudon, and you have to admit he was asking for it.”

Arthur laughed a little, but quieted, fingering his gift in his pocket.

“You probably didn’t need to use that illusion.”

“He was the one who chose to chase after it all night,” Merlin grinned.

Arthur tried not to laugh himself at the memory. It was a little mean, but the squire had been none the worse for wear, but even as he smiled, he held on to the gift.

It was now or never.

Maybe it was too much. Maybe she’d think he shouldn’t… Maybe…

“Do you remember the Siege of the Castle of Love?” Arthur plunged forward. “Back when you holed yourself in the tower and attacked anyone who came near with flowers.”

“They said ‘defend’ with flowers. Those were the rules. The girls were supposed to be in the castle and ward off the knights who had flowers with their own flowers. How was I to know that most of them wanted very much to be ‘caught’ by a particular person? I defended it! You were the only one who put up a good fight anyways…it was fun. …maybe the first fun I’d had in a long time…”

“You first crowned me then.”

“I remember…” Merlin learned back, smiling at the stars, but the expression didn’t manage to form properly. “I wanted to give you a crown that wouldn’t weigh anything. Maybe I was starting to feel guilty…even then for what I was going to use you for.”

The mention of ‘using him’ had Arthur take a slow breath.

“You never used me for anything. You know that. Everything that happened…it was my own choice.” he said softly. “But…you’d be surprised that I didn’t ask you up here to reminisce completely. I…I actually wanted…to give you something.”

Arthur fished into his pockets, bringing out the gift, a small thin box.

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure want to give you,” Arthur said. “You eat my food every day, so…and this was supposed to be a day to show your feelings to the people you care about and make them feel special. You did that for me with those chocolates…so I wanted to return with something…just as symbolic.”

He opened the lid, showing the small, delicate neckless, where pick flowers bloomed forever, glittering in rose quarts and pearl.

“If Excalibur is our point of connection…then this is a hope for the future. You crowned me dreaming of a better life…so now…if you would allow me…”

Merlin nodded as Arthur carefully clasped the necklace around her neck. It hung loose and low, nothing of a chocker about it, but the flowers stood out slightly against the white of her sweater, glittering in the firelight. Almost like her real ones, when they glowed with her power.

“I can’t…”

“You once told me that you loved flowers because flowers, like humans, seemed fragile, but also once they put their roots down, their connections, their dreams…they could cut through mountains, and they return, again and again, regardless of the harshness of winter. That’s what you are. I wanted to give you something you’d like more than food or flowers that would wilt… And I wanted to give you something…not just a view of beauty but a place like Caer Goch. Where…everything could really begin like we did then. But…fresh and new. And…like you said…not dwell on the past.”

Somewhere like the place where once, on a battlefield long ago, he’d remembered her smiling at the stars and told himself if he could have, he would have married her. 

But he’d hold that memory to himself.

As Arthur’s hand drew away, Merlin’s fall on his, keeping it there and while she seemed surprised and…well…a little unsure, she was smiling. “You certainly know how to make a girl feel special on Valentine’s Day, my king,”

“Arthur,” Arthur said. “Let’s start that anew as well. No more kings…just for now…let me be ‘Arthur’ to you.”

Slowly, gently, Merlin took his hand, drawing herself closer until they were shoulder to shoulder, looking up at the sky above them, so far and yet so familiar.

“I guess there are things I need to stop dwelling on too,” Merlin said, and pouring a cup of the coffee he’d prepared, she offered it to him before pouring her own.

“To the future?” she asked.

“To the future,” Arthur smiled

But even as they promised to leave the past behind and slowly Merlin rested her head against him. Arthur knew. There were moments that would remain in his memory. Some where terrible, like the scent of the last battle, or the sight of his friends and knights all gone. They could never leave, even if they were all returned to him whole.

But some memories…

Even if he were to live out the lifespan of a dragon with thousands of new memories to sort from, this moment as well as that moment where Merlin had rode with her arms around him, with Llamrei running across the night sky would remain with him forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got you two to DO something. 
> 
> So the Siege of the Castle of Love was a real thing. Basically, it was a game where they made a fake castle, where women, armed with flowers were supposed to defend against me (mostly their partners) also armed with flowers. From what records I found it sounded like it could be pretty fun.


End file.
